PrairieDaisie

Today's Gifts

2011-06-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

my kids eating fruit
life skills
Christer choosing a Kindle
more GoodReads friends
emotionally expressive children <3
clean laundry
ants not roaches
ebooks
air conditioning
my Best Friend

My 1000 Gifts

2011-06-28T19:18:00.001-05:00

(the beginning - in no particular order)

sticky kissings
library books
granting wishes
walking through the breezes
dappled shade
paid bills
real food
new acquaintance
daisies
my Sweetheart <3

I was introduced to this idea today (by a new aquaintance!) and found out it is from a book! I have ordered the book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp after reading the first chapter online and am looking forward to devouring it. :)

Different/Improving

2011-06-27T12:27:00.000-05:00

It would seem that having the opportunity to improve over the years there would be some sort of visible progress. I'm not sure there is. Sounds cryptic, but I don't really want to be specific online. It feels sufficient to say there has been at least minute progress in some areas and obvious regression in others. I suppose I am in a state of evaluation - the progress and regress will be named and dealt with. The biggest problems will be what has neither progressed nor regressed but remained static. :(

One of the things I know I want to work on is writing. More. With regularity. I'm not concerned with anyone reading it at this point. (even this blog for that matter) I want to get words out. Unstop the flow. Direct the flood. Make it useful. Organize thoughts and feelings. Make sense of them.

Another thing I want to work on is Grace. The kind deserving a capitol letter. Appreciating that which I live under and extending it to others in a second by second, thought by thought, action by action sort of way.

The toughest one I think will be boundaries - allowing myself to have them with others and reinforcing them. This is trickier because I need to figure out how this works intertwined with Grace.

----------

Of a curious note: I wonder if I am ever going to conquer certain weaknesses?

ug.

2009-12-17T16:19:00.000-06:00

long, long ago...in a place far, far away... I should have gone to nursing school. period.

2009-10-30T09:32:00.003-05:00

[tantrum]
I can't keep anything nice. Everything gets broken or smashed. What's the freakin' point? I'm so upset I want to smash everything else so I only have to be upset once instead of over and over and over. Burn it all with a blow torch - it's going to crumble any way. Build a bonfire. Get it over with. I want to scream, stomp my feet, and beat someone till I run out of steam.
It's the broken window thing. The Pavlovian dog of households. If something is out of place, other people feel free to leave other things out of place. If something doesn't appear expensive, they feel free to abuse it and generally ruin it. (Esp. if people are not taught to respect the property of other people.) *biting back a long string of foul verbiage, bitter, and vile* [\tantrum]
I need something physically hard to do. NOW.

2009-10-01T23:08:00.001-05:00

Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and
common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys.
- Lamartine, Alphonse De

2009-10-01T12:21:00.001-05:00

Today I put the brace back on my left knee. It's been a long time since I needed serious support....I've needed some off and on, but not long term continuous. I'm hoping this is one of those short term issues.
I hate being dependent on this brace. Thankfully, I still know all the required strengthening and stretching exercises.
*musing over the other things I'm dependent on in my life...positive...negative*
*deep sigh*

2009-09-23T10:24:00.001-05:00

Just piddlin'. Waiting.....waiting....waiting.....
Bought a scarf. Multi-purpose. Warmth, compfy-ness, something to rub mindlessly. Waiting.

2009-09-18T10:04:00.001-05:00

There's a lot on my mind and if it were a plate, there would be things falling off.....

mulling

2009-09-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

I need a porch swing, a cup of hot tea, a blanket, and telescope. Mulling over the questions of life, the universe and everything....just can't figure out how 42 figures. *quiet laugh*
It's been a long day. It's been a long day. It's been a long day.
I'm ready to follow my bedtime routine and go to sleep.
But I think I'll watch a movie. The question is - do I want to ignore life and laugh or do I want to just cry with the rest of human misery?

the sick, sinking feeling

2009-09-15T19:16:00.000-05:00

The feeling you get in your stomach that follows every vein and artery until it has spread through your entire body and brings your brain to a halt....I've got it. But for some reason, my brain is still functioning. :( Anyone know how to wash that out? Never mind, don't answer. It's better than feeling numb. maybe.

another day

2009-09-15T12:20:00.000-05:00

Another day to put one foot in front of the other, to take deep breaths, to love my family, to move forward in life....
And the current tea box wisdom bit is this:

''Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each." ~ Henry David Thoreau

Funny how sometimes things are reinforced right after the thoughts have brewed in the mind.

in a time of need....

2009-09-14T20:55:00.000-05:00

The Prayer of St. Francis (before the crucifix):

Oh great Divine, cast your light into the dark corners of my heart. Give me purity of thought, a firm hope, abundant charity, and profound kindness. Grant me wisdom, and perception that I may carry out that which brings wholeness to this world. Amen.

renew?

2009-06-25T16:33:00.000-05:00

possibly. maybe.
perhaps even making over the blog....
we'll see.
new beginning?

Do I smell vinegar?

2007-09-07T10:28:00.000-05:00

greener cleaning!
A paste of borax and vinegar works miracles on nasty shower tiles. I'm going to try it out on my porcelain tub. I got the tip from Kim and Aggie of How Clean is Your House? fame. They have great tips that cut through serious muck.
So now my cleaning arsenal includes borax, vinegar, salt, lemon juice, olive oil, hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol, and some essential oils. (tea tree oil and peppermint)
I cleaned some wood furniture today with a 1:1 mix of lemon juice/olive oil. Beautiful.

Desperately seeking Susan!

2007-09-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

I don't have an email addy for you and I don't seem to get a response at your blog, Susan, so please email me!!

So it's been a year between updates....

2007-07-13T10:21:00.000-05:00

I guess all I can say is that I've felt withdrawn and not really interested in sharing much.
Let me give a brief update:

We've moved. Same city, new house.
We bought a house.
We're remodeling said house while living in it.
We're remodeling another house to sell.
We have another family member, a sweet boy, now 7months old. *smile*
We're "interviewing" different mission sending agencies to find the right partner to go to Ukraine with. Finally heading out to the mission field after 13 years of marriage. It seems to be the right time. *smile*
We're celebrating 13 years of marriage this August....Praise God!!! We have some great examples to look up to.
Our daughter starts school this year - Pre-K here we come. *laugh* She's very excited.
We've recently made some wonderful new friends. Among them are Art and Melodye, and their two boys. They blog here.
We have a beautiful pear tree growing and we are trying to figure out when to pick all those pears! *laugh*

So, there's some news. Hopefully, I'll update more often again.

so what's going on here?

2006-05-28T15:05:00.000-05:00

Umm...a lot...and not a lot. *laugh*

We're still house hunting. Looking for that perfect fix-her-upper. *giggle* The kids are enjoying the very warm weather while looking out for those larger than normal misquitoes. Noel has taken charge of our tomatoes and they are looking very well - I can't wait to eat the first one! He also planted various hot peppers - but I will not be partaking of any of those. *wink*
I'm still struggling with my time management skills...*sigh* I'm also still purging the house, but it seems to be slow. It can't happen all in one day, but I'd like to see some major improvement in a month.
I haven't read anything lately, so nothing interesting on that point. Same goes for movies. Nothing new.
Of course, this completely blank mind may be due to an empty stomach. I think I'll go eat. *chuckle*

Ever wonder?

2006-03-26T23:01:00.000-06:00

Do you ever wonder if when everyone has jumped on a bandwagon celebrating the teachings of a certain individual if maybe...just maybe...something about it all might not be right? That perhaps there is something amiss, but the teachings tickle the ears in just a way that unless one is holding each and every teaching to scripture the problem would be missed? I've been feeling this way for a few weeks. I don't want to go on a feeling though - that's not right either. But I think the feeling is responsible for my procrastination in a certain area. So, I am going to test it out and see....see if perhaps I'm only paranoid and the bandwagon is an okay spot.

Ta-Daaaa!!

2006-03-24T19:22:00.000-06:00

I'm back. I think...maybe. *laugh*
In my time away I was able to get a lot of things organized and cleared out. A lot of other things happened as well....hmmm...where to start?

Well, the boys have both had birthdays - Cosette is still asking to make sure her's is coming soon. *chuckle* The boys are enjoying AWANA on Wednesday nights. Cosette and I get girl time then, unless we get to spend that time with Daddy. *smile* Noel has been to Mexico and back to plan for the summer trips he is hosting. He has also been to China for two weeks and is back - again to set things up for the upcoming trips he is hosting to work with brothers and sisters living there and also for work. The 6th China Xiamen International Stone Fair is huge. www.stonefair.org.cn
This Friday, Saturday, and Sunday is the 2006 Home and Garden Show at our Great Plains Coliseum. I'm planning to go tomorrow afternoon. *thumbsup* I'll share about my lastest gardening antics later. *wink*
I know more has happened, but really, I can't think of anything. The perils of waiting till evening to get to the blog - I'm exhausted!

So, there we have it - in a mostly empty nutshell. I'm back and while I will be limiting my computer time, I am looking forward to visiting everyone's blog and catching up! (((hugs)))

2006-02-19T09:09:00.000-06:00

I won't be online for a while. See y'all when I come back.

For Rosie with Hugs

2006-02-16T10:56:00.000-06:00

Happy Healing!!

fun break

2006-02-13T22:25:00.000-06:00

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.

You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.

A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.

You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.

Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.

Most things in your life are organized and planned well.

But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.

You're generally a friendly and trusting person.

But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.

You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.

You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.

Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.

Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.

You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.

But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.

You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

now, back to the question below....

a question about a question

2006-02-10T18:24:00.000-06:00

(this is one of those posts I'll probably keep adding to for a while.)

Does God punish Christians?

What do you think and why? If you answer on your own blog, leave a link! Thanks. *smile*

Finally, the meme.

2006-02-09T11:18:00.000-06:00

QuirkyChild tagged me for this. *smile* So, here goes:

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:

1. Postal clerk assistant for the MPS

2. Sandwich/do it all girl for a Deli

3. Jewelry sales at Montgomery Wards (obviously before they closed)

4. Nanny

Four movies you would watch over and over:

1. Pride and Prejudice

2. Sense and Sensiblity

3. Emma

4. You've Got Mail/13 Going on 30

Four places you have lived: (I'm confining this to the U.S.)

1. Colorado

2. Missouri

3. California

4. Mississippi

Four TV shows you love to watch :

1. Good Eats

2. Iron Chef (not Iron Chef America)

3. Thin Blue Line

4. Home remodeling shows

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. New York

2. Illinois

3. California

4. Oregon

Four websites you visit daily:
1. Graceful Mothering

2. blogs (xanga and blogspot - a couple homestead and homeschoolbloggers)

3. Women@Home

4. my email

Four of your favorite foods:

1. fruit

2. chocolate

3. fresh vegetables

4. Crusty bread with thick slabs of meat and cheese - no dressings or anything

Four places you would rather be right now:

1. the beach

2. the aquarium (Monteray Bay is my fav.)

3. a giant library

4. the Louvre, or the Met.

Four bloggers you are tagging:

Anyone left who hasn't done this yet. *laugh*

happy dance

2006-02-09T10:32:00.000-06:00

I performed fish surgery today and I am quite proud of myself. *grin*
We had a fish that I mistakenly decided to catch and move with a fish net instead of a cup and it caught it's spikey fins in the net. We got most removed, but part just stuck fast - Noel ended up cutting part of the net off so the fish could be loose in the tank. That bit of net didn't work it's way off the fin though as we hoped and it was rubbing a really raw spot on the fish. So, enter the fish doctor. *laugh*
I gloved my hands so I didn't get speared and using those tiny scissors used for suture removal I carefully cut away the netting till I could get it all off. *whew* It was nerve wracking! I'm hoping the fish will heal well and be happy to flash about the tank and give me weird looks as before. I was wanting to take him back to the pet store because he seems to aggressive, but now, I'm not so sure.

Also, in aquarium land, we now have a tad pole to observe. The pet store FINALLY had some. Some people laugh that I actually paid for one instead of going to catch one - but, hey - I've never caught one before and I really don't know when or where to get one in the 'wild'. *laugh* It's pretty cool. *smile*

The guppies we bought are proving to be disastrous. How is it possible for guppies to be so temperamental to keep? I've never had fish die off so fast. *frown* It's enough to make me think of just getting a tank of dirty goldfish! *sigh* We'll see. I'm going to do some more reading before I give up altogether on them.

The gecko has been much more 'social' lately. It's been really neat to see her around instead of always looking for where she's hiding. She's so beautiful - turquoise and grey with orange spots and big orange eyes...and those cool gecko toes...those ROCK. *laugh*

The dog, Molly..she's still rolling in dried grass and bringing it in the house. *laugh* She seems happy to find cozy places to nap and bark at the neighborhood cats. *smile*

add it to the pile....

2006-02-07T19:08:00.000-06:00

I just read this quote from a book -

"One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier. We don't need to straighten others out."

The title of the book is Celebration of Discipline. I'm not sure about the author - I'll have to look that up later.
I'm currently reading Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney. Legalistic but informative.

Apparently, discipline is something I am sorely lacking. *frown*

Oh, and in case it wasn't glaringly obvious - I'm in a serious funk.

I really should, but I'm not.

2006-02-07T17:46:00.000-06:00

I really should do a lot of things - some of them right now - this moment - but I'm not. I'm tired. (exhausted, really.)
I need to update. I'm not.
I want to post the meme. I'm not.
I should go start dinner. I'm not.
I have to run errands this evening.....*sigh* Guess I will. *soft laugh*

Once again, I wish I could wiggle my nose and have things do what I want. Or snap my fingers while singing along with Mary Poppins and have things put themselves away. Or how about the ONLY thing I liked about Disney's weirdo Fantasia - the magic brooms and mops. Self washing dishes. If I tip my head back, I can dream about it all. *laugh*
Not really acceptable, though. Guess I have to get off my rumpus bulbus and get back to work.
And to think it's only Tuesday!!

What was I thinking?!

2006-02-02T10:45:00.000-06:00

*laugh* I probably won't be here tonight! I've got a H.E.R.O. meeting to go to - with girlie time at Cracker Barrel afterwards! Maybe I'll have time to pop in here before I go. *wink*

running,running, running...

2006-02-02T10:34:00.000-06:00

Feel like I'm going to be living to the 'chuck wagon' theme song. That may not make sense to anyone but me, and that's ok. *laugh*

Fun note - I've been tagged. *wigglebrows* I'll be back to post for that later, probably tonight. I just didn't make it back here yesterday.

Crazy note - I've got a gazillion errands to run. *buggout* We will be headed to the post office, the pet store, & the grocery store. I was thinking there was one more place but I haven't made The List yet, so I can't remember.

Anyway, we're off for a wild and crazy day. Only 20 days left to another darling boy's birthday! (and twelve to my neice's) We're going to be Party Nuts! As a side note: Does anyone have any ideas on how to make a Battle B-Daman cake?!? That's what's been requested. Man, the yellow dragon idea was so much easier! *laugh*

I will not.....but I will....

2006-01-31T20:22:00.000-06:00

I will not allow myself to be in the pits of despair. I will not.
I will not allow someone to 'make me' feel miserable. I will not.
I will not bottle all this crap up and keep it there till it spews all over some unsuspecting member of my household like an infected emotional boil exploding puss all over. I will not.
I will not allow this painful turning point to discolor other relationships. I will not.

I will remember that even in all of this sadness, I still have joy in my heart from my heavenly Father. I will.
I will remember that I own my emotions - no matter how big. I will.
I will remember that I am big enough to handle them, verbalize them, and deal with them. I will.
I will remember that this is one area that is ok for me to compartmentalize - boundaries are good. I will.

I will remember that I am loved.

Deuteronomy 33:27

27 The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.

No. matter. what.

Romans 8:38-39
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Again, thank you, Father. amen.

Heretic?!

2006-01-29T13:25:00.000-06:00

Good to know some random, completely unknown to me person (the creator of the quiz) doesn't think I'm a heretic. *laugh* I can rest at ease now.....*snicker*

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451.

Chalcedon compliant

100%

Pelagianism

58%

Nestorianism

50%

Apollanarian

50%

Monophysitism

50%

Monarchianism

33%

Modalism

33%

Arianism

Adoptionist

Docetism

Donatism

Albigensianism

Gnosticism

Socinianism

Are you a heretic?
created with QuizFarm.com

For definitions of those "ism's" you can see here, where I got the quiz from Makeesha. *smile*

The Smart version of.....

2006-01-20T09:51:00.000-06:00

Oobie:

Cambron and Christopher
present:
Oobie and Kako
(with fully conjugated verbs! *giggle*)

"Oobie & Kako - Laughing Hysterically"

"Oobie and Kako - Composed and ready for close ups, Mr. DeMille."

Side note:While I was looking for the official link for this 'interesting' show, I found this Dad's take on the show and laughed - so I thought I would share. (Be sure to read the comments he got...*laughing*)

1 Week Post-Op Update

2006-01-19T14:44:00.000-06:00

[vent]
We had an appointment today to check healing and discuss options. *frown* That hospital is SO DISORGANIZED and....GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I am convinced the CT was LOST not sent back to Dallas as they insist. Anyone looking around in the clinic we visit would agree. There are large stacks of records precariously piled hither and yon behind the desk where the "administrators" sit. The paper chaos that will result if one, just one, pile falls over is too scarey to dwell on. The women working back there did little to quell their image of incompetency. (They even had us on the wrong schedule.) Exasperating! Get it together already. *frown*
[/vent]

At least the doctors have been impressive. Anyway - about the follow up. Things are healing nicely. There will remain in his ear a bit of packing for the next five weeks. Then we have another follow up to further discuss the bone anchored hearing aide (Baha) and the procedures involved. One happy note - if we go the Baha route his hearing could be better than before with the regular behind the ear aide.

Now, I'm headed outside to swing and be read to. *smile* (That makes for three more good things...in stair-step blond hair.) Thank you, God.

Time for Garden Dreaming....

2006-01-18T20:20:00.000-06:00

I've already been bit by the garden catalogue bug. I'm surfing for new ones. (I think it might have something to do with those empty flower pots on my front porch. *frown*) While I like shopping online, I have a thing for print gardening catalogues. So far, here are my new resources:

http://www.santarosagardens.com/ (don't know if they have a print catalogue)

http://www.tanagersongfarm.com/heirloom_seeds.html (online only - but has SO much cool stuff! *grin*)

http://www.selectseeds.com (print catalogue available)

Does anyone have a couple links or a fav. they want to share?

Not to JINX this, but....

2006-01-18T18:50:00.000-06:00

Cosette is doing absurdly well potty 'training'. *giddylaughter*
Three - maybe four - days ago she woke up and declared (not kidding - she DECLARED):
"I'm potty training!!"
Then she went to the bathroom and pottied.
*giddy-shivers*
That day she had several accidents. The next day only a couple. She has even taken to use the potty for (whispering) "#2". I'm not reminding her. (Well, I do right before she goes to bed and right when she wakes up. Does that count? I'm saying no. *laugh*) She lets me know when she needs to go so I'll go with her!

*awed silence/crickets chirping*

And just so you can appreciate the cuteness involved with a small child learning to use the toilet on her own, I'll share with you what she calls her little seat that sets over the large gaping hole that adults use:

her 'potty-train'.

*giggle*
Just how cute is that?!

Ok. That's about the extent of the toilet humour I'll share this hour. *wink* I do not plan to discuss this further - I'm afraid I've become supersticious over nite...so...shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Don't JINX us.
*laugh*

Sweet Tea

2006-01-14T14:38:00.000-06:00

It does a body good. *grin*
I've been trying to drink more liquids...does tea count?!
*laugh*

Today, I'm just lounging. Do you hear that? I'm lounging. On Saturday. I'm not rushing around trying to get things tidy for church tonight. It's glorious. *sigh*

Now, back to drinking my tea and lounging....
*cheesey grin*

Of books and baubles

2006-01-12T12:39:00.000-06:00

Parenting notes I want to remember.

Books I want to read:
Becky Bailey's I Love You Rituals
Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solutions (I hear there's one for Toddlers, but I haven't looked yet.)
Lawrence J. Cohen's Playful Parenting (I'm currently reading this one.)

Helpful sites to add to Parenting Resource list:
http://www.beckybailey.com
http://www.lalecheleague.org
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Encouraging article:

By Kathy L. Abbott
Beverly MA, USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 17 No. 6, November-December 2000, pp. 204-206

Like having a child, the decision to breastfeed is as much an emotional commitment as it is physical. Nursing a baby requires a total commitment from you the mother. The demands it places on both body and mind are considerable. The decision to breastfeed can weigh heavily on mothers. Some women gladly embrace the commitment, others are more tentative. But how long should one stay the path?

That was the question I struggled with while nursing my little Anna Lee. Nursing an infant made sense to me, but I wondered how long I should continue. Role models were few and far between. A casual remark from a friend who mentioned she hoped to nurse exclusively for at least six months became my first guide. Six months seemed reasonable enough. I would try it.

All went well and before I knew it, the first six months were over. My husband reminded me that now it was his turn to feed our little one so we decided he could offer her solid foods. There seemed no need for me to discontinue nursing. Unlike the first month of round-the- clock feedings, nursing Anna was easy now. So why should I stop?

When Anna Lee turned a year old at the end of October, it seemed like a good time to wean. Birthdays are very significant so it was easy to feel swayed by an arbitrary number. Twelve months was a whole year. Shouldn't I stop now? After all, too much of a good thing is, well, too much. "But how could I stop now?" I asked myself. She was just learning how to walk. So many bumps and bruises, so many tears after each little fall. Nursing was still such a great comfort to her. How could I take that away?

Christmas seemed like another story. By then, I really felt ready to wean. The stress of the season was getting to me. I just didn't have time to nurse any more, or so I thought. The days whizzed by and, to my amazement, by mid-January I felt comfortable with breastfeeding again. With the holidays behind me, the thought of weaning just seemed silly. "What got into me?" I wondered.

After that, we coasted. Nursing was no big deal any more. In fact, I was beginning to feel a little proud for having breastfed so long. But then came another October and Anna Lee's second birthday. Once again, I began to doubt myself. So did those around me. "She's two years old now. Don't you think that's long enough?" asked my mother. I bit my lip and continued.

However, the holidays came again and the stress quickly engulfed me. By December, I was once again ready to quit. "This is ridiculous!" I told myself "I can't keep doing this! I have too much to do right now." Then came January and like magic, all feelings of wanting to wean had disappeared. It was then that I realized that I seemed to think of weaning as the answer when I was under stress. When I had many demands to meet all at once, nursing somehow seemed to be the easiest one to eliminate. Only during the calm following the storm did I realize that it wasn't the nursing that I wanted rid of. It was the stress of holiday expectations and preparations that weighed me down.

By now, the headaches of the "terrible twos" had begun to rule my life. For us, the biggest battle was getting Anna into her car seat. Safety was an issue on which I could not compromise. Anna seemed to relish the feeling of control that came with refusing to cooperate. She knew that I wouldn't start the car until she was buckled up. Without her cooperation, running a few simple errands was a total nightmare. By the time we returned home I would be angry and exhausted. But by then, it was often naptime and we would lie down together to nurse. Forgiveness was essential. I found I had to let go in order for my milk to let down. Those naptime nursings melted away the anger in both of us, allowing us both to relax and feel close to each other again. I can't imagine how I would have survived the year without them.

By the end of the following summer we were down to just two nursings a day, bedtime and morning (and, of course, during the occasional long phone call). My schedule then changed abruptly, and our leisurely mornings together were replaced by a hurried routine of getting up and out the door. It was taking a toll on Anna. Our morning nursings were sometimes forgotten in the rush. Standing by the car one morning, she looked at me sadly. Softly, she said, "Please nurse." I didn't even bother going back into the house. Instead, we walked right over to our secluded hammock and lay down together. Enjoying the warm summer morning, I let her nurse until her heart was content. She was golden after that. My sunny child had returned!

Another October and another birthday (her third), but this time there were real signs of wanting to wean, only these signs came from Anna, not from me. Her language abilities had really taken off. She was singing and telling stories and sharing secrets. Nursing was less and less important to her. She fell asleep without it. More and more, she was just going through the motions. As the holidays approached once more and all the stress that goes with that time of year, I once again found myself panicking. Only this time the thought running around my head was, "How will we ever make it through the holidays if we can't nurse?" I had finally seen the handwriting on the wall. Our nursing days were almost over, and at last I understood the truth. All those times spent nursing hadn't been an added stress. They had relieved stress, both Anna's and mine.

About this time, I gave some thought to becoming an LLL Leader. LLL had given me so much support during those three long years. Maybe it was time to give some in return. While I lay in bed one night reading THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, Anna snuggled in beside me. "Read it," she insisted, "read it!" So, I began reading aloud about a mother joyously watching her small baby nurse at her breast with big shining eyes and a smile that seemed to say, "Thanks Mom." I put the book down, and Anna looked up at me. "Please nurse!" she said, smiling gleefully. She nursed for a short time and then, looking at me with the widest of grins, she said, "Thanks, Mom!" and with that we both fell into giggling so hard that her father came in to see what all the commotion was about. I knew she would nurse again after that but for me that wonderful, "Thanks, Mom!" would be the last word. We were finished.

By March, Anna was completely weaned. One night just before bedtime, she told us that she was hungry. I laughed and said to her father, "If only we were still breastfeeding. That was such an easy way to solve that problem." Immediately Anna cried, "Breastfeed, I want to breastfeed!" I looked at her in amazement. She had always said, "Please nurse," not breastfeed.

"That's not what you used to call it," I told her. "Can you remember what you called it?" I asked. She couldn't. After three years of nursing, she no longer remembered. I could hardly believe it!

In April, I told my nurse practitioner that we had weaned. "Do you miss it?" she asked. "No," I told her. "Now I have a little girl who tells jokes, makes up songs, shares secrets, and tells me her dreams. We have other bonds. And it was so gradual, I guess we both weaned together." We had followed the path all the way to the end.

Suregery update

2006-01-11T19:35:00.000-06:00

I tried to update earlier and there was some kind of "bug" with blogger, so that's why this took so long.
Jan. 10 was a very hard day. Hard emotionally, and physically. Surgery didn't happen @ noon as planned. The hospital had some screw ups - highly inconvienient would be an understatement. Eventually, after 4pm (and having not eaten all day) Cambron finally went into surgery. Because the surgery takes a min. of 3 hours, having a late start, recovery time, etc. He was kept over night. I had to take the other children home for the night. (Hospital is out of town.) I was very sad to be leaving.
The surgery was a success and yet lacking the result we wanted. His hearing is permenantly impaired (more than it had been) because the earbones had deteriorated. The good things are that even tho there was much more skin than previously thought, it is all removed. The eardrum is perfectly repaired - the graft worked. There may be more to share but at the moment I just can't think of anything. You can ask me if you want.
We are going back next week for a follow up and to discuss options.
So, I'm done for now. I thank God yesterday is over, Cambron and Noel are home, and we can get back to whatever is closest to "normal".
We still have much ahead of us. Thank you for all the prayers.
From my heart -

oh, and I want to add that Cambron was so BRAVE. He stayed cheerful - he's still cheerful today. I'm so proud of how well he handles this stuff. WAY better than I do.

prayers for Ds - surgery

2006-01-09T21:21:00.000-06:00

We have a surgery scheduled Jan. 10 at noon for our ds(6). We're doing the first stage of a series of surgeries to remove skin that has grown thru the perf. in his tympanic membrane(eardrum), into the middle ear and grown around the earbones. Very delicate surgery. Prayers appreciated. (gentle surgeon's hands, schedule on time, no complications, a smooth as-comfortable-as-possible recovery, an understanding nursing staff - and plenty of rest for all involved so they can make sound decisions!) I'll update when we get home. Thanks.

x-posted from blog

the games a-foot!

2006-01-09T11:32:00.000-06:00

Five strange things, eh? And just five.

Ok.

1. I don't like to kill bugs - spiders included. I'd rather catch them and take them outside. Some you just have to kill. And that gives me the willies...esp. if they crunch. *shudder* And yet, sometimes I get a sick satisfaction out of swatting flies....now, if that's not strange....

2. I LOVE science. I'm afraid of chemistry. I think it has to do with fear of failure and all the math involved. Metric measurements are intimidating. I don't know why - I lived in Europe for Pete's sake. But I still love science. I even like reading about it....and sadly, I've dropped Chem twice. *wince* Someday, I'll get a tutor - or Chemistry for Dummies. *sigh* Most likely, Chem for Dummies. *grin*

3. I like to sleep with my toes hanging off the end of the bed. *laugh*

4. I don't really like coffee. I like cream and sugar. Coffee gives me an excuse to have lots of both. I like cream and sugar in my tea, but since I like the flavour of teas, I usually just take honey.

5. I hate monopoly. Absolutely. End of story. I don't know anyone else that does. *shrug*

*Bonus - my Darling Husband says I am a 60-something yr. old biddy because of the way I keep an eye on the neighborhood. (I think he uses the word "nosey" - not sooo nice connotations. *ththtppthth*) Was anyone reading this over here the day I spotted the man across the street in his tree, with the saw up over his head, while he was precariously perched on a lower, not too strong looking branch?! (It was moving, let me tell you - and I DON'T mean the branch he was sawing on. *giggle*)

meme for strangeness....

2006-01-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by Rabenstrange. *grin* Guess what I get to share?! Drum roll, please.......
Five strange things about me!

The problem is that I am limited as to number - only five....

So, I'll have to come back to this. I'll have to selective. *laugh*

a little bit here and a little bit there...

2006-01-07T00:49:00.000-06:00

So, it's ten to one a.m. and I am sitting in front of my screen scarfing Mi Abuelo salsa and chips...think I'll have memorable dreams? *laugh* Well, I don't know that for sure, but I do know I will have fingers that look like polish sausages in the morning because I add so much salt to my salsa. Salty chips, salty salsa....yeah, I like salt. *grin* If I were to be an animal I'd be a horse so I could eat apples, carrots, and have a salt lick. *laugh* Speluncking in a salt mine anyone?!
Sadly, I don't think it will counter-act the amount of sugar I eat to maintain my sparkling personality. *wink*

Anyway, on to what I was intending to share....
Long, long ago, in another life I was an avid Anne Rice fan. So long ago, in fact, that I haven't read probably half of what's out there with her name on it. Recently, she has had a change of heart and change of focus in writing. So, I am excited, after my initial reticence, to get my hands on a copy of her woven words - Christ the Lord : Out of Egypt. Currently, it is on hold at our public library. (Are you as shocked as I am? they actually have it! Ooh! *laugh*) I have read a couple reviews and articles about this book - here is one by George Barna - and I am actually very excited. While it's on hold I'll finish Barna's Revolution.

Now, on to the water faucet to attempt to minimally dilute the saline content of my being. And what shall I dream tonight, pillow fairies? *laugh*

a new year......YES!

2006-01-03T01:09:00.000-06:00

I love the beginning of a new year. It's fresh - more so than just a new day. The opportunity to turn over a new leaf (or in my "let's do it ALL" way - turning over a whole tree of new leaves *laugh*), is inspiring.

Ahhhhh.....the freshness of it all. *smile*

I think I am calloused to the phrase "New Year Resolutions". So, I am "resolving" or "purposing" to make some lifestyle changes that will, with persistence, change the way I am characterized. One tiny bud of change that I am praying will leaf out in full green beauty is consistency. Already I can boast - even though I know I'm not supposed to *laugh* - that my kitchen and laundry have been completely, COMPLETELY done at bed time EVERY DAY THIS YEAR! (yes, I realize it's only been two whole days, but don't deflate my joy balloon with facts or sarcasm, alright?! *laugh*)

Ahhhhhhhhh......the freshness.

Since things have seemed stale for a long time, this freshness is an unsurpassed pleasure. I fully intend to breathe of it deeply for days, if not months, to come. *smile*

cross posted to xanga

Book list for girls - UPDATE #2

2005-12-04T18:13:00.000-06:00

I'm compiling a list of books I enjoyed as a girl - and still enjoy as a bigger girl. *chuckle*

Anne Of Green Gables and the other Anne books that followed (thanks for the thought, Jessica!)
Magic for Marigold (both of these books are written by L.M.Montgomery - I've made her name a link - she has written many stories for girls and all the ones I've read have been fabulous! I highly recommend them!
A Wrinkle in Time &
A Wind in the Door &
A Swiflty Tilting Planet, and other stories about the Murry family (Megan and Charles Wallace are wonderfully real characters) by Madeleine L'Engle are favourites as well as A Ring of Endless Light. (From here I discovered the poetry of Henry Vaughn *smile*)
Little Women (well, pretty much anything by Louisa M. Alcott for that matter!)

um...*laugh* I think I'll stop - I've sort of been drawn into the last two linked sites...
Perhaps I'll add more later. *sheepish grin*

Ok...I'm back and adding to the list. *smile* I may have to do this over a period of days. And Rabenstrange - yes, I read those you mentioned - quite happily. *smile* Just hadn't gotten to them yet. I'll start with them this time.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis link 1 & link 2
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (who interestingly is listed as a principle collaborator in the translation and literary revision of The Jerusalem Bible. This, along with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, were read aloud to us by our Aunt. It was great fun. We made maps and all sort of things to go along with our readings. Great memories. *smile*
The Sherlock Holmes Mysteries by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

add again later. *smile*

The Nancy Drew Mysteries by "Carolyn Keene" These are really good fun to read. I discovered these in the third grade and I am looking forward to reading them with Cosette. (We've been reading the Hardy Boys Mysteries with the boys. *smile*)
The Bobbsey Twins by "Laura Lee Hope" is another mystery series, but for a younger audience. My mother introduced them to me, but by this time I was too engrossed with Nancy to be interested in the "little kids". *laugh*
Agatha Christie Mysteries...by Agatha Christie. *laugh* I picked up a lot of great vocabulary reading her books in elementary and middle school. Gastronomic was one of the words I remember having to figure out...as well as a few french phrases. Once on a car trip I didn't have a dictionary and had to ask my Dad. *grin* I love words - so new words are as delightful as the mystery itself.

Does anyone else see a theme running here? *laugh*

There is also....
Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne
Bambi by Felix Salten Strangely, I only read this one time - on a "cross country" type road trip. I don't remember if it was here or in Europe, so I'm having trouble "dating" the experience. I am sure it was before fourth grade, tho....I don't remember much about the book other than I cried very quiet tears in the seat behind my mother and next to my sister's carseat. I just recently placed this book in the donation box and I wonder what about it moved me to hold onto it for so long. I vaguely remember some beautiful descriptive writing from the beginning. Reading at this link, I am not surprised I had to finish it, and that I did not reread it. I am surprised that reading that book at such a young age did not make me completely anti-hunting. Esp. since I know I saw the Disney version when I was small. Of course, if I actually had to do the hunting myself I might very well be a vegetarian! *laugh* Anyway, as a mother, I wouldn't recommend reading this with your children...esp. if Dad hunts. And I am really wondering why I thought to include this book on this list in the first place?!?!
OK..this is becoming a post all in it's own! *laugh*

enough for now.....

gentle reminders

2005-11-28T21:27:00.000-06:00

This evening as I prepared dinner for the kids (Noel was teaching class) a song came on the radio that has significance to me. The words of the songwriter mirrored my heart the year our second child was born. There was so much that I didn't understand - like why God allows babies and children (like my son) to suffer for no apparent reason for one - and I was really having a hard time dealing with it. Sometimes I still have a hard time dealing with it. Thankfully, it didn't break my faith, though I was angry with God more than I had ever felt anger before or since. One particularly rough night this song came on the radio and it was the cry of my soul and I was able to break down and cry. I did tonight as well....amidst the spaghetti noodles and tomato sauce, the forks and the cups of milk. Truthfully, I still don't understand. I will never claim to understand - and like Job, I wasn't there when the Lord created the universe or breathed life into Adam. I don't know how the stars are made. I don't know how things exist outside of our "box". But I know God has it all under control - even while I do not always agree with how things are and what He allows. He alone knows it all. And He knew I needed a good cry and a gentle reminder.
Thank you, Father.

Jesse Tree devotion
Scripture: Genesis 1:26-31
God is the creator of all things. God made the world and everything in it: the air and the water, the plants and the fish, the animals and the people. When God finished creating the world, it was perfect. When God first created people, even they were perfect. They did not sin or do anything to make God unhappy.

Even though there is now sin and and sadness in the world, God still cares for us. We have been given a beautiful world in which to live, and God has asked us to take care of it. We can care for the world by showing kindness to all living things.

The world is God's gift to us. God wants us to enjoy this gift, but God also wants us to treat it with care.

Thank you for your redeeming plan. I pray for steady, gentle surgeon hands, compassionate nurses and staff that are attentive and accomodating to our son. Please give our son your peaceful, assured presence to calm his fears. Please allow Noel to be with him as he drifts off to sleep.....keep him safe and bring everyone safely home. And also, Lord, if there is opportunity to share you let it be known.
Amen. amen....

tip toes and pre-op stress

2005-11-28T14:29:00.000-06:00

I have one little Prima ballerina twirling around the school room. One of her brothers watches her proudly and clapps to encourage her. It is good to see them getting along after arguing this morning over those silly pop-ons. (or is it pop-onz? *shurg*) It's a good moment for reflecting on the joy my children bring and the smiles they so freely give.
It is also a moment where I realize that my snappiness is really due to pre-op stress. I don't know why I didn't think about it....I guess having such a "break" between surgeries let me "forget"? Anyway, I see it for what it is and there we have it.
If you pray, please pray for ease of procedure, comfort, peace for my child and speedy recovery.

strings of lighted hearts

2005-11-27T23:19:00.000-06:00

Please look.
Pray,
&
Remember.

We are all one flesh
in the body of Christ.

and then again...

2005-11-27T19:13:00.000-06:00

We went as a family to see the Nutcracker Ballet last night. It was a beautiful performance - even the boys enjoyed themselves and all three children danced to the car afterward. The Russian and the dance of the Rose are my favourites, and of course I love the dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. On a not so good note, I had an allergic reaction to someone's perfume and today I am in a full blown state of head congestion with a severe sore throat. *sigh* I vaguely remember this mornings messege at church - something about entering God's rest...I was more focused on not clearing my throat every two minutes or worse, having a coughing fit. When we got home I made it long enough to get the kids lunch and then went to bed with Boo watching cartoons next to me while the boys played video games happily in the living room. When I got back up a couple hours later, I was very grumpy - achy still and generally *UG* feeling. The kids ended up with corndogs for dinner - again. *sigh* I griped at the kids, snapped at the kids, and was basically not a very nice mommy. *frown*

Then at dinner I remembered that this is the first night of Advent and that we were going to be getting our "ornaments" colored for our Jesse tree (which I did not explain very well to my oldest who thought we were not doing Christmas presents this year because, well...I was not clear and there was much confusion about having two trees), and then having our first family devotion tonight. What kind of attitude was I having? Was this conducive to anyone enjoying the preparation for the birth of Chirst? -NO- Would it make a lasting memory? -YES, but not a good one-

All achiness aside, I needed to step off my "poor me, I'm icky feeling" martyr box and realize the JOY. I apologized to the kids who were ever so gracious. I was forgiven and we all exchanged encouragements and then....a little bit later I was being snappy again. *frown* Lord help me, please.

I am determined and have purposed in my heart for this to be a wonderful experience for our children and to create warm, joyful memories this year to be thought upon with loving reflection in years to come. I want to impart to my children that this is not just a time for "getting" and "giving" but foremost "receiving"(Christ).

Our devotion tonight is:

Scripture: Isaiah 11:1-2
Reading: God has a plan for everything. Long before Jesus was born lived a man named Jesse. Jesse had seven sons; the youngest was named David. When David grew up, he became a great king of Israel. God had a plan for Jesse and for his son David, even before they were born.
Jesus was also a part of Jesse and David's family tree, born many, many years after David. People waited a long time for the birth of the Savior. The season of Advent is a season of waiting for us, too. We wait for Christmas, the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus.
It is hard to be patient, especially when we are waiting for something wonderful like Christmas! But it is important to learn to be patient, and to trust that God has a plan for us, too.

Patient?! Exactly the characteristic I lacked today. Lord have mercy and thank you for your grace! Let this be a season of great anticipation and joy! Amen.

Blessings. stuffings. naked trees.

2005-11-23T13:27:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here taking a "break" from what I am preparing for tomorrow and the upcoming Advent season. I'm pondering and answering my youngest as she gets progressively louder in her request for more crayons. *laugh* She has more than she can use already - but she wnts more none-the-less. Isn't that how we are? We have much and we still want more....Lord, thank you for your ample provisions!!
This will be a very jumbled post - I just want to get some thoughts out and share a few things.
Today I am making pies - 2 apple and 2 pumpkin, preparing a vegetable tray, and making two cheese balls for pre-dinner munching. I also want to get some aspects of the house a bit cleaner and hope to get all the clean clothes put away!! I printed out the Jesse Tree ornaments for the kids to color at our family devotions, as well as the devotions themselves. *smile* I love Advent! I'm also looking forward to crafting an Advent wreath this year. This afternoon the children are going to make a "Thankfulness Banner" .
I read a book yesterday that shared a really good point - the wording was excellent and I want to share that:

You see, my friends, deep down inside where no other person can go with you, in the innermost chamber of the heart, only two options exist. You are either alone, or you share that inner sanctum of the soul with your heavenly Father. No one else can go there. Not friends, parents, husband, wife, no one. Either you and God live there together, or you are by yourself. And if you are alone, it is an aloneness that will remain for all eternity.
~Michael Phillips, Destiny Junction

That's it.

Now there is something from a parenting angle that I wanted to have here so I can refer to it at a later date if I want so I'll post that as well.

Basically, I believe that my job as a mom is to be a suffering servant for my little one and always wash her (adorable little)feet before I take any glory myself, because she is the "least of these" in our family. It's a pain in the butt sometimes, and I do resent it sometimes, but that's because I'm sinful. I don't think that Jesus resented us, and He suffered all the way to the cross for us. And I am called to do the same for my babies. I just do it sinfully.
That's what I think AP is, putting your kids' needs first, and not giving them any reason to think that they are lesser than their parents, or that they cannot count on them, or that their needs are unimportant. But not that they can get away with whatever they want to.
~Devona www.loveandblunder.blogspot.com (which I read posted by TulipMama on the GCMblog

Alright, now I must away with me...more to do, think, and see!

And of course,
Happy Thanksgiving!

sluggish updates

2005-11-14T11:05:00.000-06:00

Ok..so I am sort of dragging along here. I did take a nap on the couch with Cosette on Sunday afternoon. *smile* But that was really the extent of my relaxing. *sigh*
So, in honor of blogging and just because I can and truthfully, because I can't think of a single thing I've wanted to share in the past couple weeks, I shall post today's TO DO LIST. Drum roll, please.....*drumming of fingers on desk*

*put my clean sheets in the dryer DONE - even got my duvet cleaned! yeah!
*put boys sheets in washer DONE- and dried
*sweep up doggie's grass off the floors (she rolls...and rolls..and rolls) DONE
*bathrooms - intense cleaning this time (includes wall tiles around boy's toilet & under the base) HALF DONE - ONE DOWN AND ONE TO GO
*mop floors
*dust (including fan blades, mini blinds, and window sills) DONE
*vacuum DONE
*laundry, laundry, laundry...........
*plan dinner DONE - yummy
*poison my crunchy invaders...again DONE
*make out a couple thank you notes DONE
*post some of a reading list for an aquaintance DON'T HAVE TO - will exchange later *grin*
(of course this is after school is done *wink*)

oh, and just to state something to vent a frustration - grits can get EVERYWHERE!! (esp. when a 2yr. old eats them. *grin*)

edited one time to mark finished items. YEAH!!! Currently enjoying Pride and Prejudice on A&E.
ahh............*sigh&smile*

update

2005-11-11T14:05:00.000-06:00

I've neglected. I'm sorry. I'm pooped. *laugh* Hopefully, I'll be able to update in a refreshing way tomorrow. *yawn* Now, I need to move away from this chair before I fall asleep.......back to work! *groan*

nothing

2005-10-25T20:31:00.000-05:00

Nothing to say except that I am early to bed in hopes of being early to rise.
*shrug*
oh, and it's fall cleaning time.

Diatomaceous what??

2005-10-24T10:38:00.000-05:00

Diatomaceous earth. Now, there is an alternative to aerosol neurotoxin to eradicate my bug problem. *giggle*
Ok..actually, I am serious. But I just love that word. *grin* Gives me flash backs to biology in ......*thinking*.....oh, 9th grade. Sitting in the back ooohhhhing and aaahhhhing over hugely enlarged pictures of diatomes and my friend Becky deciding then and there she would be a marine biologist. *grin* I think she joined the armed forces actually after attending Notre Dame. We lost touch when I moved State-side. Wonder what she's up to now???
Anyway. Something else. Back to what I was posting about - DIATOMACEOUS EARTH. (IF this were a miniseries that would still be echoing. *laugh*)
I think it would be an even better choice than the Boric acid I have been using. Either way, it must be understood that it isn't completely without hazards - I mean, you still don't want to inhale the stuff. Who needs microscopic bits of fossil lodged willy nilly in their lung tissue? Not me. *grin* And keeping in mind that we need beneficial insects (yes, I know that the others are beneficial in their own ways but I'm not addressing those) we don't want to use this where it might cause a worse problem in the garden if sprayed all over or erratically without thought. (isn't that last part redundant? *laugh* " ....red tomato..most tomatoes are red....it's redundant." *laugh*)
Apparently, I have no focus today. *grin* So, I'm going to stop. Feel free to check out the link or do a google. *smile*

ug

2005-10-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

So, I'm doing laundry today - a lot of it. I've been in and out of the laundry "room" several times this morning. Because it is part of what used to be a back patio there are lots of cracks and holes along the floor and the door. Because there are cracks and holes we get bugs. We also keep the dog's water and food back there - so it looks like a buffet, I guess.
I am not co-habitating with yucky bugs. Now let me define what is yucky: roaches, those big ones with the hard, reddish black, segmented exoskeletons. Ew. They creep me out. I can't even step on them because they "crunch" loudly. *shudder* SO. I decided to poison them. I put boric acid in the cracks, in the holes, and under my machines. *frown* And it works. Not instantly mind you - they still come in and wander around in the dark after we go to bed - but they don't live long enough to make a home and breed. This is a good thing in a way - for me. It's not so good for them. *frown*
I'm getting weird.
About 15 minutes ago a roach came out in daylight by the back door. It didn't run away at my approach. It sort of floundered - if a bug can do that. So, there it lay with legs twitching and and writhing in what must be a painful death.
And I feel sad. *frown* And guilty.
*UG*

Borrowed Meme laugh

2005-10-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

I took this from Pearl. *grin*
The idea is to get pictures of key places in your life (I added one):
*Where you were born
*Where you were raised
*Where you are now
*Your name
*Your Mamaw's name
*Fav. food
*Fav. drink
*Fav. song
*Fav. smell

So, here you go - "about me" in pictures. *laugh*

I was born in Panama:

I was raised in these places:

Ft. Carson, CO. This is Pike's Peak.

Ft. Sill, OK. This is New Post Chapel, where we went to church and youth group the second time we moved there.

Pirmasens, Germany

Dunsen, Germany (So small all I could find is this map! *laugh*)

Ft. Irwin, CA NTC near Death Valley

Augsburg, Germany

Where we are now: Almost right back where I started. *laugh* This is just outside of our "busy" town on the Great Plains. *wink*

My name - that yielded pictures of Christie Brinkley and Christy Turlington. *laugh* I think I'll leave them out. *sticking tongue out*

My "Mamaw's" name

My fav. food *laugh*

My fav. drink

My fav. song (ok - one of my fav.'s) Take On Me: A-HA

My fav. smell.....ummm....*shrug* That's really, REALLY, hard.
Babies, freshly mown grass?? I'm perplexed. *laugh*

There. I'm finished. *wink*

Top Seven

2005-10-18T10:02:00.000-05:00

Top Seven
I was tagged by Rabenstrange.

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1) Celebrate the blessings in my life - everyday.
2) Create with my children more happy memories than sad.
3) Write and illustrate a children's story.
4) Keep chickens.
5) Finish school.
6) Become a Master Gardener - harvest a decent garden - can my yummies.
7) Learn Latin, German, Italian, and French - and travel.

Seven things I can do:
1) Bake apple pie.
2) See details - the fine ones.
3) Read. Read a lot. Read quickly.
4) Choose JOY.
5) Keep promises.
6) Help shoulder a burden.
7) Love - even when it hurts.

Seven things I cannot do:
1) Sing. (Had to leave this one here *laugh*)
2) Quick math in my head.
3) Let go of a grudge easily. takes work - sometimes I need help.
4) Swim in water I can't see thru or to the bottom of - includes water with light reflecting off the surface. Someone might drown when I panic. *frown*
5) Eat just one piece of candy.
6) Stand on my head.
7) Eat celery. God meant that for cows. *laugh*

Seven things I say most often:
1) Anyway. Something else.
2) Interesting. *raised brow*
3) just. great.
4) Guess what?
5) I love you. *smile*
6) In a minute.
7) *UG*/ *sigh*

Seven celebrities I would like crushed (Note: This is metaphorically crushed. I am not advocating people running down celebries in their SUVs)(Note: ditto what he said!):
1)Anyone on the VIEW - *UG*
2)hmmm...this is hard because I generally don't pay them much attention.
3)I know that I don't care for H. Clinton's politics
4)There are some actors/tresses I think are crude but I don't know their names
5)Howard Stern pops up
6)hmmm....pictures of some musicians come to mind -
7)just don't know their names...*shrug*

Five people who should do this:
Anyone who wants to! *laugh*
Just let me know so I can read it! *grin*

Quizzeled fish byproducts

2005-10-17T16:42:00.000-05:00

Ok...so I have been tagged and "opted in". *laugh*
I will get to those just as soon as I ask Myself, whom I just saw in passing, whether I am coming or going and may I stop yet?! *laugh*

Oh, and note to Self - cleaning out the big fishtank is GROSS!! *shudder*

Love Poem No. 5

2005-10-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

Sonnet XVII
~ Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I love this poem - it sounds like it has poured right from my heart. I stumbled across this poem a year ago or so as the result of a quiz...I came across it again today while working on my other blog. It is beautiful. <3

Unser Vater...

2005-10-13T00:03:00.000-05:00

Vater unser im Himmel,
Geheiligt werde dein Name.
Dein Reich komme.
Dein Wille geschehe, wie im Himmel so auf Erden.
Unser tägliches Brot gib uns heute.
Und vergib uns unsere Schuld,
wie auch wir vergeben unsern Schuldigern.
Und führe uns nicht in Versuchung,
sondern erlöse uns von dem Bösen.
Denn Dein ist das Reich und die Kraft und die Herrlichkeit in Ewigkeit. Amen.

Child-led weaning

2005-10-12T10:45:00.000-05:00

This is for those who have noticed that Boo is still nursing and are curious. *smile*

The weaning process begins the first time your baby takes food from a source other than your breast - whether it's formula from a bottle or mashed banana from a spoon. Weaning is the gradual replacement of breastfeeding with other foods and ways of nurturing. ~KellyMom

So, yes, she is in the process of weaning. *smile*

Now for some bullets from The KellyMom site (such a wonderfully supportive site!):

It's a myth that the benefits of breastmilk stop at a certain point. Instead, they continue and are more significant and longer-lasting for both you and your child the longer breastfeeding continues. In fact, the antibodies in human milk are more concentrated the lesser the frequency of breastfeeding is (say with a toddler or older child).

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

Many studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent allergies and asthma is to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months and continue breastfeeding long-term after that point.

Breastfeeding can be helpful for preventing allergy by:
1. reducing exposure to potential allergens (the later baby is exposed, the less likely that there will be an allergic reaction),
2. speeding maturation of the protective intestinal barrier in baby's gut,
3. coating the gut and providing a barrier to potentially allergenic molecules,
4. providing anti-inflammatory properties that reduce the risk of infections (which can act as allergy triggers).

Per the World Health Organization, "a modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under five: Breastfeeding plays an essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness."

"Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."
-- Mandel 2005

Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.

According to Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq. in "Extended Breastfeeding and the Law":
"Breastfeeding is a warm and loving way to meet the needs of toddlers and young children. It not only perks them up and energizes them; it also soothes the frustrations, bumps and bruises, and daily stresses of early childhood. In addition, nursing past infancy helps little ones make a gradual transition to childhood."

There is so much more there to learn! The benefits for moms are extensive in reguard to prevention of specific cancers, osteoperosis, and mothers' general well being. *smile* Breastfeeding not only calms babies but mothers as well!

Kellymom has a lot of support for mothers that pump, tandem nursing, preemie nursing, and mothers adopting who wish to induce lactation. *thumbsup* Please see her sight for references - she has them by the bucketfulls.

I also think this is interesting and I plan to do more study of this when I have time:

Among the Hebrew's, children (whom it was customary for the mothers to nurse, Ex.
2:7-9; 1 Sam. 1:23; Cant. 8:1) were not generally weaned till they were three
or four years old.
Source: Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary

Ok...my lactivist post is now concluded.
*grin*

mourning more tragedy

2005-10-09T21:26:00.000-05:00

We are still dealing with the effects of such huge natural disasters here in the U.S. and already more people over in India and Pakistan are suffering from yet another huge natural disaster...mourning the loss of family, friends...and their children. I can not imagine digging thru rubble searching for my babies......

Lord, have mercy.

clarification

2005-10-08T07:49:00.000-05:00

Let me clarify the previous post. *smile* I am in no way tired of being a mother...of small children or big children. I love being mommy and reading stories and watching them figure things and create things and try new things - even if for the boys the new things aren't always food items. *laugh* I am trying to say (which I did not do very well) that I am a better mommy if I am refreshed every once in a while. A dried up bean isn't going to feel refreshed if you run it up under the water tap...you're going to have to soak it overnite! *laugh*
My point is that I have been relying on myself to be renewed. Relying on myself to find some time of solitude because solitude is how I typically refresh myself. What I needed, and still need, is to rely on God. I don't need to change my situation. I don't need to change my children or my husband. I don't need to change the fact that I ordinarily would draw strength from social seperation - God created me that way! But I do think that there are times when we need to rely on God because it is a chance to shine a light on His strength! Motherhood, for me, is a time where I am really not going to know or learn all the answers. I need Him to guide me and show me the best way to parent my children. Ultimately that's what I want. I want to hear His voice tell which way to go and when to stop. I want to be able to praise Him and show other's how He has led me. *smile*
But when I am weary, I don't listen very well. I don't mother very well. I am not a very good wife. I have a short fuse...impatience is not a trade mark of motherhood - well..not one that I aspire to, anyway! The "fruits" are just as dried and shriveled as I when I am weary and it is embarassing to admit that. It's like my ears are stopped up and all I want is to find a quiet spot - even a closet and hide away until I can relax. (Sadly, I probably look more like my two year old in sore want of a nap!) That won't work for us right now! Situationally, I can't just tell the kids,"Mommy will be back in a couple hours. Have fun and behave." That would be how I found the quietness to refresh on my own instead of drawing it from God little by little thru out my day after a major refreshing to begin. I think I am repeating myself at this point. *laugh*
I guess instead of just trying to learn something new every time I open my bible, instead of trying to commit something else to memory, instead of searching for the verse that will inspire, I need a smaller focus that is not on myself, yet will reflect back to me. I need to let God be the source of strength and renewal I say he is and seek from Him.
Does that make better sense? *laugh* I'm still not sure. I already have a bit of fog rolling in.

*****************************************************************************

Father, after seven hours of sleep I am still tired. I still do not feel well. I have such a full weekend ahead of me. As my wee ones are still sleeping, please draw me into you and fill me with your Spirit. Give me the strength to go about my day joyfully. Grant me patience beyond anything I ever thought I could attain myself. Turn my heart toward kindness - remind me of how you welcomed the little children even in the midst of your work. Help me not to envy other mothers away on retreat this weekend and those at conferences. Do not let me be rude or snippy or snarky. Place a guard over my mouth - I do not want to be held accountable for those kinds of words, but I know that I will be if they explode from my mouth! Continue to help me place others before myself. Please place a cap on my temper. Remove words that accuse like "you always", and "you never" from my lips. Bless my children and my Husband. Father, please guard them with your angels and protect them from the evil one. Thank You for the Faith you have placed in my heart, the Hope of Your kingdom to come, and the Love that You are and always will be. My intent today is to serve my family with love. In Jesus' name I ask these things.
Amen. amen.

\o/\o/\o/

tired

2005-10-07T18:38:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. Sure, I'm tired physically after a long day, but I mean I am emotionally, maybe even spiritually, weary. *sigh* I had an epiphany last nite on the way home from a friend's house and I've been mulling it over all day. I visited a new forum, Women @ Home, and was reading a scripture verse that someone shared from their daily reading....and my response sort of mirrored what I've been thinking. Here's the verse:

For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
I peter 3:10

And my response:

Good food for thought today.
My tongue is my weakness. Sooo hard to control it. Though I would suppose that if I were persistant in renewing my mind daily in Christ as I am supposed to my tongue wouldn't have so much to say that I could be ashamed of.

(emphasis added for this post)

Here's the verse in mini-context, so to speak:

Romans 12:1-3 (New International Version)
Romans 12
Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

Really, here is the key - my epiphany. I am weary. Yet for some reason, as I thought about how much I want to retreat from things - yesterday I kept thinking about how nice a mountain lodge full of books would be - this verse came to my mind. It was a gentle reminder that what I am doing with my children is a worthy ministry. It is a ministry that God has equipped me for and is more than willing to sustain me thru daily...thru the renewing of my mind in Christ Jesus. In my service I am offering myself as a living sacrifice.
Yes, retreats are good. Times of silent contemplation and reflection are wonderful. However, at this present time it is not possible. Rarely do I get to go to the bathroom alone or without "thru the door" conversations! Good news abounds in that God is with me whether I ascend a mountain in solitude or not. I can be filled with his Spirit without a Holy Pilgrimage. Christ lives in me. I do have small moments to capture thru out my day.
So...I'm concluding with the thought that I need to make sure that I am purposfully seeking to be renewed - that spiritual fulfillment. I need to dig deeper, maybe even dig longer, in the Word. Not just a superficial ascessment while reading - taking the grains off the top of the wheat stalk. I need to consume the entire column of grain...chew it...and chew it some more. *laugh* I guess I could be like a cow.
Well, I think my thought process is muddying and I see the evidence above of break down so I'll stop now. Maybe..just maybe I'll add more tomorrow after I've had sleep and can make coherent sentences and spell things correctly. No promises. *laugh*
(I may also include some major editing to this if I come back and read it and it doesn't make any sense! *laugh* *yawn*)

hot and steamy

2005-09-30T23:58:00.000-05:00

Amazing...I think I almost forgot. But those are the two best words to describe my iron. *laugh* I almost forgot because I haven't used it in almost FOUR YEARS. *shocked* Ironing was nice. I really had forgotten how nice and crisp things feel when ironed. How smooth. How neat and tidy. *grin*
There was a time when I ironed even bed sheets. Sounds suspiciously untrue, eh? Well, it's the truth. I ironed almost everything...but that's been SO LONG AGO.
My middle child saw me ironing and was bewildered. (Mind you, he's 6 *laugh*) "What is that?" "What does that do?" "Can I do that?" and my fav.: "Why are you doing that?"
Ahhh...because things sew better with neatly pressed seems. And then came the fascination with the sewing machine. "Can I sit in your lap while you do that?" "Can you show me how?" "What are you making?"

Yes...I have neglected certain domestic skills for a LONG time - if you could call what I do with a sewing machine a "skill". (I busted a needle, for pete's sake!) *laugh* We'll talk about justification for neglecting specific domestic "skills" another day. *wink*

motivation

2005-09-29T16:38:00.000-05:00

I'm motivated. I'm motivated to clean out my kids closet...organize their toys...sort things to leave the house...sew curtains for the boys room and hem the cloth for their "hideout". I'm NOT motivated to wash the dishes. Dishes desperately NEED to be washed. Anyone want to wash dishes right now...maybe we could race and see who finishes first? Maybe make a game out of it...you know - the whole sugar helps the medicine go down idea? Sugar...now that's an idea. Anyone want to give me some skittles for washing the dishes?? *laugh* I'll gladly wash dishes for a jumbo bag of skittles. Think if I pace up and down the kitchen with a sign that says "Will Wash For Skittles" I'll get any?
Naw, didn't think so....*sigh*
Guess I'll go wash the dishes for the sake of cleanliness and household peace and tranquility...and daydream about skittles. *grin*

It's beginning to ...

2005-09-28T22:03:00.000-05:00

...sound a lot like autumn!! Yay! I can hear the wind beating thru the trees and bushes right outside the school room window. We have a blustery, windy, knock you down, tear a kite out of the sky, slam your car door on your thigh kinda autumn. This is where they get the idea for the wind to come "sweeping down the plains", tho I think it feels more like "stampeding buffalo". That doesn't fit in the song well.*laugh* It won't be more than a few weeks, I'm guessing, before the leaves are all brown and fall off the trees all at once - well - at least it seems that way. I'm still a bit nervous about tornados....

Sugar tops

2005-09-28T17:12:00.000-05:00

Here are my sugar tops. Playing out in the heat. Adorable. *smile*

And the birthday girl...with a wee bit of something sweet on her face. *smile*

I am also supposed to post a pic of my nose. *laugh* Apparently, there are those who, living out of town-not mentioning any names(LORI), doubt I pierced it. (stud not ring) Sooo...I tried to take a picture that wasn't too weird...key word being "tried". As soon as I can get this goofy scanner to accept the photo card and upload I'll post it here.
I have to say that while I did not do my nose to function as a great conversation starter, I have heard some fun comments. *laugh*
My fav. so far was from Sue: "What?! Christy...you're like...a mother of three!!"
My response:*laughing hysterically* "Yeah? And..so???" *laugh*
Ahhhhhh....*sigh*
Tally (who no longer has her's in) got this: "Is that a tiny piece of meat on your nose?" Which makes me think: "Yeah, saving it for later." *rolleyes*
*incredulous shrug* *laugh*

edited:
Figured out how - Handy Hubbies are the best. *grin* Here's the not too weird pic.

It's sparkly - sorry about the glare. *shrug*

And one goofy:

And there you have it. *laugh*

catching up

2005-09-28T13:25:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it is ever truly possible to catch up. Scientists say you don't really "catch up" on sleep. You can't gain back the hours you've lost. Basically, your body will sleep till restored/refreshed - if you let it. I guess I should say "In Summary" or something similar. Honestly, I'm not really concerned about the wording there - you know what I mean. *smile* I haven't posted a painting I like in a while so here is one to enjoy.

We've been doing the usual. A couple things here and there are a bit different. One of which is that we moved the spider we were observing in the boy's bedroom (ceiling) to a jar in the school room. I really didn't want itty bitty spiders swarming all over the room when her eggs hatched. *laugh* I did my best to get the sticky sac into the jar without damaging it, but I am not so sure I accomplished my mission. I did make sure to get the dead spider she had caught and rolled up so she would have food. The bottom of the jar is where I placed the "food" and the egg sac. I also placed two fern fronds in the jar to give some structure, added oxygen, and cover. I thought for the first two days that the stress of moving had killed her and then noticed she (I have been thinking of her as Charlotte *laugh*) moved the food and the egg sac up into a web she spun between the two fronds. A couple days later she added another, larger egg sac and the first one shriveled up. Yesterday, we caught a small cricket in the kitchen and fed it to Charlotte. She pounced on him and then zipped back up her web. The cricket just limped around for a long time....so we quite watching. When we checked again, she had the cricket up in her web and she was...well...you know..sucking the "juices" out. *giggle* Her abdomen has swelled considerably and this morning the cricket remains were dropped to the bottom of the jar. All in all, this spider is much more interesting than the funnelweb grass spider we caught a few weeks ago. *laugh* (we already let that one go.) We are hoping to get ahold of one of these fuzzy catapillars wiggling around here outside and give it lots of leaves and see if it spinns a cocoon or makes a chrysalis. (moth or butterfly) We never saw the leaves with eggs on them. Anyway - maybe next year we will order butterfly eggs and get to watch the whole process. I'd like to do the tadpole thing too - oh, and lady bugs...that would cool. We are supposed to observe earthworms right now, but I don't usually think of buying worms when I'm at the store...so I should put them on a list and stick it to the fridge. *laugh*
So far over the last couple years we've observed a tiny frog the size of my pinky nail, a tiny green anole lizard (both of which came in flower shipments to the florist shop my sister was working in and were the reason I stood out in the yard with a tiny aquarium fishnet "scooping" teensy tiny bugs for food while 7,8,&9 months prego *laugh*), a little grass snake, and a brown anole. Currently, as pets we have one goldfish (thank you Fall festival - I'm sure we'll get a few more this year), one silver catfish, and one Placo in our aquariums; we have one dog - Molly, a black Lab, and Gertrude, our Tokay Gecko. The boys would also like to add a fish, a bird or two, some rabbits, and a couple more hamsters (I have a black thumb for hamsters...just don't go there. *frown*), and about 20 guppies. I would like to get a turtle, and a little frog for the fish tank, more fish and a bigger tank. *laugh* What I think we will get tho, is just some more guppies - after we find a new home for the catfish - since he likes to eat all other small fish when the lights go out. (oh, and maybe a turtle. *big grin*)
That's all I have time to update....tune in next time to the same pet site, same pet time. *laugh* Yeah, that was corney...so what? *grin*

cyber suction

2005-09-21T22:17:00.000-05:00

There is a Cyber Vacuum... out there... somewhere... that has sucked up my post and it is now forever lost. Does anyone remember Murphy's Law? Does he have influence over the internet?? *laugh* Ah, well...I had put so much into crafting that post - specific words...sentence structure..I really felt the urge to write (actually using correct punctuation even! *mock shock*) and there it was in all it's edited glory. WAS. *laugh*
The Muse has departed. Perhaps another day, eh? *shrug*

Sugar boogers and chewing gum

2005-09-20T12:35:00.000-05:00

Gum first - my oldest son's fav. flavour is "Fruicey Juit". *laugh* I just love that!

Now about those "sugar boogers"....
Fannie used these words in her post about life with boys. It reminded me of an event that has led to a lovie/snugglie/goofy kinda thing between my boys and myself.
The details are no longer important, as each boy claims responsibility, but basically, one afternoon we were giving hugs and kisses and I noticed a gooey stickiness on one boys face.
"what is that?" I was thinking out loud.
"it's a little bit sticky." (referring to the goo)
"it's a little bit sweet." (referring to the boy)
And then, feeling a little goofy, I said,
"It must be a SUGAR BOOGER!!"
Loud squeals of "EEEWW!" and "GROSS!" could be heard for miles I think. *grin*
So, every once in a while, I notice that there is a little bit of sweet stickiness in boyhood - and I get up close...right next to an ear...and I sniff...and I think aloud:
"Hmmm...it's a little bit sticky."
And then *kiss*
"And it's a little bit sweet..."
And as the boys get giggly and pink I declare that they "MUST BE SUGAR BOOGERS!!" and tickle and smooch and squeeze until they gasp for me to stop.
"Sniff me now, Mom..."

scheduling fanatic?

2005-09-19T09:47:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid - 3rd/4th grade - I became a scheduling fanatic. (just a short time after I realized I could make lists for everything.) I know this sounds unbelievable to everyone who knows that I am almost always running behind and late. But it's true, I would make schedules for myself down to the minute. Then I would realize I forgot something and that schedule would end up in the trash after just two days and I would create a new one. This would happen off and on...I would create the Uber schedule, it wouldn't work and then I would give up. *sigh* The problem is in the scheduling of every single minute with every single activity I thought I needed to acomplish EVERYDAY. *laugh* Of course it was overwhelming! Details, details!! I'm still this way (who knows how many personal planners I've had. *snort*)...not with the scheduling mind you, I avoid it mostly because I haven't figured out how to do it without overwhelming myself, but I still have this desire to have the details mapped out and then fixed in stone. If I plan for something to go from 10:30 - 11:45 I want it to begin at 10:30 and end at 11:45! I'm all for the occasional spontaneous activity, but I guess I like to plan for it. *Laugh* I love how Phileas Fogg has his routines down to the second for his daily life and yet is still able to leave it behind for a 80 day journey around the world. You just can't schedule life in a family that way. Well, some say you can and should, but I don't think that's healthy - I mean, I know rigid when I see rigid - and yeah, that's RIGID. *laugh*
Anyway..the reason I'm thinking about this is that our family is making a go of a weekly routine of sorts. I'm doing my best to let it be. To let it be simple and not go mad with it. It's hard tho...what we have is a very simple morning routine for waking up, breakfast, clean up, etc. Sounds good. This really gives continuity to our day and week. But then Tally called and asked if I wanted to go with her to the Y and work out in the mornings...so...we are supposed to meet for thirty minutes and today we met at 6:30. It was GREAT! I loved it. *smile* And the need to schedule more into the morning began....what about my bible study that had been going great in the morning? I'll need to get up even earlier if I want to get that done, and 30 minutes just wasn't enough, I'd like to have 45 minutes for the gym....and I really prefer to shower after working out instead of waiting till the end of the day....and we are just meeting on M,W,F...but what about T, Th? I really like to have continuity when scheduling - sort of an equalibrium. (no, I don't like to place things off center either. *laugh*) So, I have a need to schedule some kind of work out even if it's not at the gym - and now I have a great opportunity to use the work out vidoes I just had to have....and of course there's other things that need/I want to be done (ie. laundry, learning caligraphy, sewing, etc.) and scheduling them seems like the best thing until I remind myself that things NEVER go as scheduled, in my life anyway, and I will get extremely frustrated when my schedule doesn't work out....so...
*sigh* I WILL NOT BE SCHEDULING ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT ALREADY IS. (As much as it goes against my nature to do so.)
Well, except those extra workouts, a shower, and my bible study....
*laugh*

I guess what it comes down to is falling short of my ideal. I never seem to be able to attain my ideal....I detest falling short...I detest not reaching the goal I have set. I know someone is going to say that's part of being human - falling short..sin and all that...well..I find no consolation there.

2 Corinthians 13:11 (New International Version)
Final Greetings
11Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Hebrews 7:11 (New International Version)
Jesus Like Melchizedek
11If perfection could have been attained through the Levitical priesthood (for on the basis of it the law was given to the people), why was there still need for another priest to come—one in the order of Melchizedek, not in the order of Aaron?

1 Corinthians 13:10 (New International Version)
10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

Thank You, God!!

lazy..with sweet memories to keep.

2005-09-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

So, I've been lazy.
Boo has a sick tummy. She didn't sleep well last nite and was really fussy yesterday. Didn't even want to blow out the candles on her cake! She did have fun carrying her newest baby while walking in those crazy dress up shoes I coveted as a small child. *laugh* At one point she kept trying to do something and wanted me to hold her baby for her, so I fashioned a sling out of a large square scarf ala mamatoto.org style. She loved it and it was so cute! So, now she has two babies. One sleeps in the moses basket and the other sleeps with her. Nana bought her a little stroller, so she's constantly putting a baby in and trying to strap her in. *laugh* Then the baby "cries" and she says,"Oh, baby!" and rushes to pick her up. The baby also laughs and says "mama". We have little diapers for them, but I don't think they will hold up for long, so I decided that my first sewing project (If I ever actually get the machine up on the table and threaded! *laugh*) will still be little cloth diapers like my great grandma made for my dollies. Very simple with little velcro tabs. I think I can manage that.
Right now, Boo is running around in her purple jeweled dress up shoes, with her navy blue and white striped, red trimmed bathing suit cover/robe. She is carrying one baby, a diaper bag, a cell phone - and pushing another baby in her stroller! A mom in training! *grin*
Now, I need to go help the boys with their bedroom.

suck it up

2005-09-14T11:32:00.000-05:00

Some things I just can't do. No matter how hard I try...I fail. It sucks. I hate it. I loathe it. Can't do anything about it. What's worse is that I just have to suck it up. Yay me. Woohoo.
*gag*

Oh, and the mysterious "they" and Steve from Blues Clues - liars all - you can't "be anything you wanna be." And yeah, I'm bitter about it.

birthday blues

2005-09-13T22:56:00.000-05:00

So she has turned 2. My last, small babe is two years old. I am happy, proud, sad, and nostalgic all at once. She doesn't look like the picture any more....*sigh* She is more beautiful. *smile*

Happy Birthday, Cosette!

white noise

2005-09-09T23:54:00.000-05:00

Lamentations 3:26 (New International Version)

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

I have been meditating on this verse since yesterday evening. Amazingly, for one having such a hard time memorizing scripture, this one stuck fast. To wait quietly...sort of like being still and knowing...it's a good place to be.
I've noticed how much noise I have in my everyday life - voluntarily. (I'm not talking about the noise children make either. *smile*) I'm talking about radio, television, live stream media online added to the noises of city life - the cars, the sirens, the neighbor's dogs barking....then there's the air conditioner, the fans, the humming of electricity burning through our bank account....and don't forget the droning in my head going on about what I haven't done yet, and what I've said I'd do, and how well I'm doing what I am doing.....then add phone ringing and conversations, microwaves and timers beeping....and the cacauphany is almost more than I can bear! Oh, to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord!
So, in response to this realization, I have been turning things OFF. And in the quiet I hear songs of praise. It's not K-LOVE - it's praise music sung to me in my childhood. The hymns on the tape of music for my ballet recital when I was 5? 6? Who would ever guess that the first seeds of faith were planted by a loving ballet teacher? I listened to those over and over on my little brown fisher price tape player, even after the recital had come and gone. There are songs sung during mass during my 5th, 6th, & 7th grade years. There is music from my very first encounters with contemporary christian music - Twila Paris, and M.W. Smith. (sp. the "I 2 Eye" album that I wish I still had.)
When I am quiet..and still..I can hear the Holy Spirit prompting: to pray....to sing...to praise.
I woke up this morning with a song on my mind that I can't recall now but for the idea - a pleading for God to not foget me. Tonight as I nursed C.R. I realized I was humming a song of thankfulness...now I have this song in my heart:

Yahweh's people dance for joy,
Oh, come before the Lord,
and play for him on glad tambourine
and fill your hearts with song!
Sing a new song unto the Lord,
let your songs be sung from mountains high.
Sing a new song unto the Lord,
singing alleluja!

It's really is good to wait quietly, to be still and know He is God, and I plan to turn as much off as I can so I may wait quietly more often. \o/

water

2005-09-09T23:52:00.000-05:00

~opening the flood gate~

beginning with a trickle

dripping, streaming, gushing:
ideas and conversations shared;
blending, bonding, sealing
an aquaduct of
intertwined relationships~
a soul's neighborhood
mortered, scented, permeated
with Triune Agape.

Keirsey profile

2005-09-09T20:57:00.000-05:00

http://keirsey.com/

Copyrighted © 1996-2004 Prometheus Nemesis Book Company

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and directive and introverted in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a th
underhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.

Copyrighted © 1996-2005 Prometheus Nemesis Book Co.

IDEALIST NFs, being ABSTRACT in communicating and COOPERATIVE in implementing goals, can become highly skilled in DIPLOMATIC INTEGRATION. Thus their most practiced and developed intelligent operations are usually teaching and counseling (NFJ mentoring), or conferring and tutoring (NFP advocating). And they would if they could be sages in one of these forms of social development. The Idealist temperament have an instinct for interpersonal integration, learn ethics with ever increasing zeal, sometimes become diplomatic leaders, and often speak interpretively and metaphorically of the abstract world of their imagination. Idealists resist instruction from any external source.

They are proud of themselves in the degree they are empathic in action, respect themselves in the degree they are benevolent, and feel confident of themselves in the degree they are authentic. Idealist types search for their unique identity, hunger for deep and meaningful relationships, wish for a little romance each day, trust their intuitive feelings implicitly, aspire for profundity. This is the "Identity Seeking Personality" -- credulous about the future, mystical about the past, and their preferred time and place are the future and the pathway. Educationally they go for the humanities, avocationally for ethics, and vocationally for personnel work.

Social relationships: In their family interactions they strive for mutuality, provide spiritual intimacy for the mates, opportunity for fantasy for their children, and for themselves continuous self-renewal. Idealists do not abound, being as few as 8% and nor more than 10% of the population.

Seek first

2005-09-07T23:04:00.000-05:00

It never ceases to amazes me when God is faithful answering my prayer - that he listens and responds to what I feel like are the feeble and clumsy prayers of an inadequate mother/wife/daughter/sister/aunt/friend.
God is truly gracious and loving! Through Him I was able to make it a WHOLE day without loosing my patience! I had warm contentedness...a peace. As children are so good at doing, they reflected me and the way I responded to the day. Even while feeling icky. It has been glorious. School lessons were accomplished with minimal grumbling and with focus. I overheard my children being kind even when "inconvenienced" by their siblings. *happy sigh*
I still have more housework, I'm still fighting sickness, yet it has been a GOOD day.

Thank You, Elohim. \0/ \0/

painting: San Cassiano Altar, by Antonello da Messina
1475-76
Oil on panel
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

Confession

2005-09-05T20:30:00.000-05:00

I did not get up early. We did not have school. Three out of five family members have sickness or feel like they may be getting sickness (the latter being moi). I was going to take the day easy after sleeping in - but ended up doing some yard work. What started small just led from one thing to another and another. The yard is looking nicer anyway.
Another confession: I just learned about bandwidth thievery - of which I am guilty. Now that I know what it is, and how I was doing it, I am going back thru my posts to make sure all pictures I've shared are copyrite free (I know that they are) and also downloaded to my computer and then uploaded to an image host online (I can think of two which aren't!). *whew* sounds complicated but it's not. Photobucket is wonderful for image hosting, by the way. Amazing thing about laws - they are there even if you don't know about them. I think there are some great spiritual implications there, but I don't have time to get into them. CA just got out of the shower and the younger two are done bathing and are dressed and ready for bed - night time routines beckon.
I'l have to com eback - maybe later tonight or early in the morning - I've been reading some great things and want to post them here to chew on and hopefull get some other's insight.
One last question - and this is not a joke - What are your thoughts about reading the bible in the bathroom?

Prep-ing

2005-09-04T21:56:00.000-05:00

This weekend has been mostly restful. We took friday off of school, so we will actually be having lessons tomorrow.
I am prep-ing to make this week different. Changes in schedule....more consistency. The last two nights bedtimes have gone much smoother. And I like to think it is because I have pretty much done the exact same thing with them each nite - without being rigid about it. The only thing I have to add is reading...which I think we will move away from the bedroom, and keep being in their bed's for sleeping only.
I spoke with a fellow HERO homeschooling mom at Saturday's swim lesson and recieved a great idea for getting back to the gym. (which has been practically impossible it seems - and there is no way I'm going to wake up earlier to get there!) Anyway - three times a week in the afternoon, they have water aerobics. I know, I know - I imagine a pool of little old ladies in swim caps - but anyway - I think I might join in - I'll finally be back in the gym doing something low impact and good for my horrid knees. *smile*
So...there will yet more consistency - M,W,F - gym; T,Th - karate - at the same time each day! Now, if I get my morning and evening routines going - dare I say: "flying"? - I'll be doing pretty darn good. *pleased grin*
As far as the "Believing God " study goes - I'm not going to be doing that. I'll have to let Tally tell me the wonders of Beth Moore's book, etc. For some strange reason I thought Lifeway was offering the study for free. What could have possibly given me that idea - I have no clue. *shrug* Anyway - instead I decided to splurge and by a book I have been looking at:
Praying the Names of God, A Daily Guide by Ann Spangler. She covers 26 of God's names or titles over 26 weeks. Talk about bang for your buck. *giggle* the other sutdy is only 10 weks long and I think they have the same amount of "homework", and I have no extra journal or video to buy. *smile* I like that. a lot. *grin* And I start tomorrow. *thumbsup*
Now off to bed I go - and to quote my sister quoting Meg Ryan:
"Good night dear void......."

blinkies

2005-09-03T22:56:00.000-05:00

I spent a lot of time with blinkies today. *laugh* More than any sane person should. They really are addictive. Did I accomplish anything - well, some dishes got washed, the kitchen trash went out, and I did take the kids to their new Sat. morning swim class. (thanks, Nana and Papa!!) *sigh* Some days are like belly flops. *laugh*
Tomorrow is a new day.
(and I have this crazy urge to insert a blinkie that says just that!!) *shockedlaughter* But I don't have one so here's this one instead!
....I am NOT blinky crazy...I am NOT blinky crazy...*nervous laugh*

just an excuse....

2005-09-01T15:55:00.000-05:00

Just an excuse to post this beautiful painting? Maybe - but also an apology: I've had to add the annoying "type these random letters" thingie to my blog comments section because I have been inundated with spammer's suck up comments. *frown*
But it IS a lovely painting, isn't it? I would love to have this one. *smile*

Wrapping Wee Ones

2005-09-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

Tally is coming over today for a wrap session. It has the potential to be very comical. I am by no means an expert - just have a little more "time" under my belt. The big kids will run and play and the wee ones will get wrapped in several different fashions. I wish I had known about this when my first two were small. The accidents I would have avoided...*sigh* (like the day the double stroller didn't "click" and it collapsed instead!!) How much easier it would have been to have only ONE in the cart - and how much happier CF might have been snuggled up to mama....ah, well - can't do a thing about now. *laugh*
(edited to remove pictures)

Thanks to someone else's posting (sorry I can't remember who's), I am considering doing this: Believing God Study.
First, I need to ascertain if I actually have time available. It already seems like I have more to do than hours in the day. (sounds like a lame excuse, huh?) We'll see......

overflowing fount

2005-08-30T13:02:00.000-05:00

There is so much to absorb...so much!! Thank you to all the wise women out in the blogosphere willing to share their insights. *smile* May you continue to be blessed with wisdom, grace, and mercy.

Here is a taste. Enjoy with delight...

either or?

2005-08-30T11:27:00.000-05:00

I've always said (well, when saying...) that I "believe in God."
But I realize after some reading today that I have an option that I never considered.
I can:

Believe in God
Believe God

I like "B". Thanks for sharing. *smile*

that is all

2005-08-29T00:19:00.000-05:00

I love this painting. (Monet)
That is all. *smile*

up late and rambling...

2005-08-28T00:58:00.000-05:00

I imagine I am seeing this out my window...and I am thinking about the events of the day...a bit introspective as usual.
It was a slow, busy day - I had a lot I wanted to do, but didn't do a lot - I rushed and I worried about being finished with the tasks I had set before myself, but really there was no need. The more I accomplish around my home, the more I see for me to do and it can be overwhelming. The better it gets, the closer to perfect I want it to be - and that is unrealistic. I know this, yet I stress about it anyway. *shrug*
For some reason I always hear this is in the back of my mind: "It can be better you know, it can always be better." "You can do better, you know, you can do better." It's always pushing me...don't accept the status quo...do not be, what's the word? - content. I fight it a lot. Sometimes I try to block it out. Act like I don't hear it. Let things go - because it "could be worse, right?" And then it spirals out of control and I get this horrid monster that I can't handle. And it eats me. In tiny bites. Then it's louder - "It can be better, you know; you can DO better!"
Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!! SHUT UP ALREADY!

Anyway, something else. I've been pondering the way imposed change affects people - of all ages. It's quite common and expected that when small children deal with large changes in their lives (new babies, a move, a death, etc.) that they will regress in their skills and behaviors. Children previously potty trained have accidents. Those who used to sleep thru the night, will wake again. Some even want relationships as a whole to go back - as in the case of the older brother of a new baby desiring to be "babied" - held, carried, fed, rocked.... you get the picture?
Wondering, in that "what do you do while you wash yet another sinkful of dishes" kinda way - I thought about if and how adults regress when confronted with imposed or sometimes even self imposed changes in our lives. How do we react spiritually? How do we handle MAJOR stress? How do we handle challenges to our beliefs and thought processes?
Personally, I know I get really and truely GRUMPY. I snap and bark and claw and have a huge desire to retreat to a cave somewhere on a mountain where no one will bother me. So socially, I regress in a way. Spiritually, I fall back into the "Does God care? Will he DO anything?" kinda place...never mind that he has shown over and over that yes He does and yeah He will - tho it may not be just the way and when I want. So, spiritually, I regress as well.
Cyclically, this reminded me of the Isrealites in the Old Test. wandering in the desert for 40 years. At every new change in circumstance they regressed to doubt as well - even tho they had witnessed many miraculous interventions by God on their part. Good to know I'm not the only one. Sometimes judging by the way I behave you'd think I knew nothing of God's grace! To top it off, I also sit judgementally over others and think the same of them in their "regression". *rolleyes*
So next I wonder what to do with this....is there something I can do to prevent this with myself? How can I deal gracefully with other people when I see them "regressing"? More hmm's than I have time to answer right now, but you know, I'll be thinking about it. *laugh*
And yet another rabbit trail.....
Sometimes things just fly right out of my mouth. *embarassed* I say things and then realize how mortified I would be if someone had directed that same comment to me. *sigh* Tonight I did it TWICE. I think something "got snipped" in there as Tally says. Anyone know how to hotwire a control for the mouth? *laugh* Lord, place a guard over my mouth!
Switching topics yet again, was the weather not glorious today? I wish it had been just a tad cooler so that I might have opened all the windows and listened to the rain and smelled the freshness of it all. It's raining again as I type - what a wonderful sound. Who is it? Eddie Rabbit? Who sings that song I Love a Rainy Night? Well, anyway...I do...
*humming*

ah, yes..here it is:

I LOVE A RAINY NIGHT
Eddie Rabbitt

* Well I love a rainy night (2x)
I love to hear the thunder
Watch the lightning
When it lights up the sky
You know it makes me feel good
Well I love a rainy night
It's such a beautiful sight
I love to feel the rain
On my face
To taste the rain on my lips
In the moonlight shadow

# Showers wash
All my cares away
I wake up to a sunny day
'Cause I love a rainy night
Yes I love a rainy night
Well I love a rainy night (2x)

Repeat *

Puts a song
In this heart of mine
Puts a smile on my face every time

'Cause I love a rainy night
Yes I love a rainy night
Ooh I love a rainy night
Yeah I love a rainy night

Repeat #

Can a person hum in their sleep? *laugh* Sweet dreams...

Panicked Joy!

2005-08-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

Things were looking GREAT around here and then something exploded yesterday...and now my house is .....let's just say it IS. Now the panic sets in (only a mild exaggeration) as I race to tidy and clean before housechurch tonight and I get to see Shari and Mike!!! WOooooHhhooOooie!!! I don't want any work to have to be done while the are here. So...gotta go...if I had a hump, I'd be bustin' it! *laugh*
On a side note - don't you just love that cat?!? *laugh* Sometimes I feel like my eyes do that. *giggle*

are they very tiny?

2005-08-25T11:30:00.000-05:00

Cute poem about toothfairies...
CF Lost another tooth - this one went down the drain...Noel could not rescue it as it had gone beyond that U shaped joint, whatever it's called. *laugh* Anyway - CF was delighted this morning to discover the wonders left under his pillow. Excitedly, he showed me his coins and and then wondered if tooth fairies were very tiny fairies. *smile* CA tried to tell him that the fairie is really mommy, but to no avail. The fun of imagination!
Yesterday afternoon, CF and CR rode on a magic carpet - I have no idea where they went or what adventure they had, but they were happy riding on a green bath towel together on the living room floor. I wonder what they will pretend today....

The picture is from
Graphics by Penny Parker
Penny's Place In Cyberspace

does it hurt?

2005-08-24T12:58:00.000-05:00

Character issues. I've been thinking about my kids and how to help them in areas that they struggle. The thing is, they display many of the same issues - we'll call them traits *laugh* - that I am working on. And I know why.
One of the harder things about homeschooling is living your life in the 360* mirror from What NOT to Wear - but in this case it's more appropriate to call it What NOT to Be. It's hard to discipline (teach) my children not to yell, be easily angered, or pout, and to work first and play after, when I myself am having the exact same problems. *exasperated-sigh*
My biggest problem in dealing with this is that I am forever trying to change myself. CHANGE MYSELF. I want to change myself to be what I think I should be. (...there is a way that seems right to a man....) What about the way God wants me to be? (..in the likeness of Christ...) CHANGED BY GOD.

Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
10 "Be still, and know that I am God;"

Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

James 1:5 (WYC)
5 "And if any of you needeth wisdom, ask he of God, which giveth to all men largely [that giveth to all men largely], and upbraideth not; and it shall be given to him."

Grace, patience, humility, gentleness, kindness....laughter and playfulness - these things I ask for. You've placed the desire in my heart. I know I wouldn't think these thoughts if not for you - that I would not desire these changes, but not for you......I am asking. I am seeking. I am knocking. Mold me into the gentle mother I know you desire me to be that I may raise my children in a way that honors you. amen.

fuzzie navels or C'est la charité!

2005-08-22T08:02:00.000-05:00

Hairy belly buttons - uch - ok, so not so cute. *laugh*
What I'm thinking about is how much I love my friends. I LOVE YOU GUYS!! *warm fuzzies*
I am also thinking about those that I don't particularly "feel" the vibes for - people that irritate me, have annoying habits that make feel like I am developing a nervous tic when I'm around them, and those that are just plain 'ol hateful.....and I am remembering that I'm supposed to LOVE them as well. So...just how does it "look" to love someone you don't particularly like? And I don't mean in a cheapo, plastic, barbie smile kinda way, either. I'm talking genuine 1 Cor. 13 kinda love. I mean, after all - it is an action word, eh? And is it any different when you aren't "liking" someone you do love...what does that "look" like? Interesting that a lot of the things I think of that "show" love can be done for others with out any love in my heart at all.......

1 Corinthiens 13:13

13Maintenant donc ces trois choses demeurent: la foi, l'espérance, la charité; mais la plus grande de ces choses, c'est la charité.

1 Corinthians 13 (Wycliffe New Testament)

1 If I speak with tongues of men and of angels, and I have not charity, I am made as brass sounding, or a cymbal tinkling.

2 And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries, and all knowing [and all knowing, or science], and if I have all faith, so that I move hills from their place [so that I bear over hills from one place to another], and I have not charity, I am nought.

3 And if I part all my goods into the meats of poor men, and if I betake my body, so that I burn, and if I have not charity, it profiteth to me nothing.

4 Charity is patient, it is benign; charity envieth not, it doeth not wickedly, it is not blown [it is not in-blown with pride],

5 it is not covetous [of worships], it seeketh not those things that be his own [it seeketh not those things that be her own], it is not stirred to wrath, it thinketh not evil,

6 it joyeth not on wickedness, but it joyeth together to truth; [it joyeth not in wickedness, forsooth it joyeth together with truth;]

7 it suffereth all things, it believeth all things, it hopeth all things, it sustaineth all things.

8 Charity falleth never down, whether prophecies shall be voided, either languages shall cease, either science shall be destroyed [whether prophecies shall be voided, or languages shall cease, or science shall be destroyed].

9 For a part we know, and a part we prophesy; [For of part we know, and of part we prophesy;]

10 but when that shall come that is perfect, that thing that is of part shall be voided.

11 When I was a little child, I spake as a little child, I understood as a little child, I thought as a little child; but when I was made a man, I voided those things that were of a little child.

12 And we see now [Forsooth we see now] by a mirror in darkness, but then face to face; now I know of part, but then I shall know, as [and] I am known.

13 And now dwelleth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the most of these is charity.

(Yes..I love to see the Scriptures in other languages and translations - sometimes it offers a new perspective! )

hodgepodge

2005-08-21T19:02:00.000-05:00

Some things just aren't nice. Inflicting them on others - even unintentionally - is just as "not nice". I want to grump and complain about it, but I don't think it would be very nice for the poor person I want to grump and complain about....not that this person(s) would ever read my blog...*shrug* I wonder if it makes a difference - I mean when it comes down to it - I AM grumping about someone(s). ( I love putting that little "s" in there - just makes it all the more confusing and funny to me. *laugh*) Anyway - I lived thru it and if that's the only "suffering" I have this week, I'm doing pretty darn good, you know?! *laugh* This is going to sound unrelated but it's not. It's kinda like habituating to something - like I do to the mess in my house - you don't really see it until you look at it from someone else's point of view or see an actual snapshot of the situation. Kinda scarey sometimes. I honestly think some things could be cured if the "offending" party got to see the problem on video! And goodness knows I've been the offending party more than I care to admit... some things are harsh but true.

(please do not stalk me with a camera if I offend you! *laugh* - well, unless I'm in denial....)

so much!!

2005-08-19T11:33:00.000-05:00

There is so much today that touches me out in the blogging world!
Someday I, too, plan to be out in my Wellies, digging up carrots and picking tomatoes and zuchinni....Ahhhhh. *happy sigh*
For now, I'm happy to see someone getting to enjoy it! Great garden!!!

wisdom passed down

2005-08-19T11:18:00.000-05:00

Thank you, Kathy, for sharing. I feel like I'm in the locker room getting the "talk" I need before the next quarter. (Kathy posted this at her blog last Friday.)

So much in parenting is so basic. It is not fancy. It starts with remembering that kids are people. It starts with treating your child the way you would want to be treated. With empathy: remembering how it felt to be that age.

Remember that family members are precious and smile at them and make eye contact with them when they wake up in the morning or from a nap.

Make pleasant eye contact with your children and touch them gently on the shoulder when you ask them to do something. Make it a chance to cooperate before it becomes a command to comply.

Be considerate--give your children time to disengage from what they're doing before expecting them to jump up to fulfill your request.

Be considerate in letting them know what to expect in an upcoming situation. We can forget that everything is a new situation when you're a child.

Be aware--of how long it's been since your child ate or slept, and also of the stress and stimulation of different situations. Just like grownups, children find it hard to be patient and gracious when they're hungry, tired or stressed out. Be attentive to their frailty in this area and you will cut problem behaviors by a huge percentage.

Children, like adults, appreciate it when authority figures (that's you) take time to investigate the facts before you jump to conclusions about their culpability or motive in some situation.

When children behave badly, it often is a clue that they are feeling badly--just as it is with grownups. Set firm limits but also investigate what the underlying cause of the behavior is.

Children NEED lots of time and attention from their parents.

There is a difference between being firm and being mean -- and children know that as well as you do. (And incidently, meanness at the behest of some parenting guru whose book is making the rounds is still meanness.) Firmness is dignified; it draws respect--and shows respect. Firmness sets a wise boundary and stays with it. Firmness looks the same in public as it does at home. Meanness deals out of impatience, revenge, fear, embarrassment, or a sub-human view of the child. Meanness seeks privacy. The light of day tends to reveal meanness for what it is.

Parenting well is mostly relationship. Thus, if you're a Christian parent, ponder parenting applications when you come across those "one another" verses (and other relationship verses) in the New Testament. You'll be blessed and challenged.

Enseigne-moi, Éternel

2005-08-19T10:47:00.000-05:00

Psaume 119:25-32 (Louis Segond)

25 Mon âme est attachée à la poussière: Rends-moi la vie selon ta parole!

26 Je raconte mes voies, et tu m'exauces: Enseigne-moi tes statuts!

27 Fais-moi comprendre la voie de tes ordonnances, Et je méditerai sur tes merveilles!

28 Mon âme pleure de chagrin: Relève-moi selon ta parole!

29 Éloigne de moi la voie du mensonge, Et accorde-moi la grâce de suivre ta loi!

30 Je choisis la voie de la vérité, Je place tes lois sous mes yeux.

31 Je m'attache à tes préceptes: Éternel, ne me rends point confus!

32 Je cours dans la voie de tes commandements, Car tu élargis mon coeur.

Psalm 119:25-32 (New Living Translation)
New Living Translation (NLT)

25
I lie in the dust, completely discouraged;
revive me by your word.

26
I told you my plans, and you answered.
Now teach me your principles.

27
Help me understand the meaning of your commandments,
and I will meditate on your wonderful miracles.

28
I weep with grief;
encourage me by your word.

29
Keep me from lying to myself;
give me the privilege of knowing your law.

30
I have chosen to be faithful;
I have determined to live by your laws.

31
I cling to your decrees.
LORD, don't let me be put to shame!

32
If you will help me,
I will run to follow your commands.

Buffet? ....there's no buffet.

2005-08-19T00:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was an amazing marker in our marriage - 11 years! Reflecting on the joys and trials of our past, I realized we have made 4 interstate moves, have brought three wonderfully loving children into the world, survived 10 surgeries with our second son, made lasting friendships, been hurt and healed, grown and pruned, and of course: learned, laughed and loved. *smile* Over all it has been good - Thanks to God and his mercy and grace. (amen.) We should've made a banner that said "50 yrs. or Bust!!" and had our picture made with it. *laugh*

The last couple days I have been seeing that God is always working on something. I mean, I've known that....but have I really known that? I can see it this time. As I am painfully missing my sweet friend, I find that God has brought someone else closer to me. It has been a balm for my heart. What's more, she has been a challenge and encouragement to me spiritually. She is a good friend ~ delighting in the Lord, seeking His will. The Holy Spirit is evident in her life. And I am Thankful. (amen.)

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Kolosser 3:12,13

(12)So ziehet nun an, als die Auserwählten Gottes, Heiligen und Geliebten, herzliches Erbarmen, Freundlichkeit, Demut, Sanftmut, Geduld;(13)und vertrage einer den andern und vergebet euch untereinander, so jemand Klage hat wider den andern; gleichwie Christus euch vergeben hat, also auch ihr.

Colossians 3:12,13

(12)Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
(13)You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

These verses need to be pasted to my walls. Perhaps if I wrote it out 100 times on the blackboard it would sink in, you think?
To be clothed in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience I am so painfully, and obviously NOT.
We become like those we spend the most time with. What kind of example am I being to my children? Today I was hardhearted, harsh, condescending, abrupt, and impatient.Oh, and LOUD. *sad-frown*
The Word's of my Savior are not a place of comfort for me today. Rather they are rebuking and peircing. My own disapointment with myself is keen. (Col.3:17 - And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father.)
If you are familiar with this passage you know what follows swiftly after this, right? (vs. 21, Fathers, don't aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.) The farther I read the more I see - all I can do is pray.

Lord, have mercy; Christ, have mercy. Mea culpa.

Mary Magdalene detail from Sacred Conversation, by Giovanni Bellini

Le Sigh

2005-08-18T14:22:00.000-05:00

*sigh*
a wee bit discouraged....
and I miss my smilies. *hrmph*

bathing is not optional!

2005-08-16T08:30:00.000-05:00

It would be a huge time saver if bathing weren't a necessity and merely an enjoyable relaxation tool. *laugh* But I am so very glad that it IS necessary!!! It means I do get to relax, even if it isn't daily....(sorry, y'all, if that's TMI - you can blog-hop elsewhere. *giggle*)
One of the things I am most thankful for beyond the usual things we all list, like family, and freedom of worship (I know those are not small things - I don't take them lightly - don't worry!*laugh*), is hot, running water from an overhead spigot!
Anyway - I guess my point is that I am looking at the small things today (that really don't seem so small when they aren't there) and remembering what a blessing they are as well. A good perspective to have when one has a million and one loads of laundry and dirty floors that need to be mopped - yet again. *laugh*
Ever so often I read this little story - it certainly helps my attitude -

Annah is from South Africa. She and her husband came to the United States from Soweto - the all black southwest township of Johannesburg- so that her husband could get his Ph.D. Her home had been two rooms without electricity or running water. She had never seen a vacuum cleaner or operated a dishwasher.
She and her daughters visited with us for two weeks one summer. Daily Annah rose and started to clean my house. When I urged her to be a guest instead, she shook her head. "Oh, you have such a lovely home. It is a joy to clean."
A joy to clean? For me, cleaning was something I did when company was coming, when I began to stick to the floor, or could not see out the window. Certainly something to do only if I couldn't think of anything better to do!
"I love to polish," Annah told me, making my sink gleam. "In Soweto, women polish their buckets until they shine. We are proud of what we have."
Seeing Annah's delight in cleaning- and feeling a little guilty that she was working so hard in my house- I began to work with her. I discovered how much joy there can be mopping a floor, polishing wood until it glows, lifting clean dishes from piles of suds, folding swee-smelling clothes.
I am grateful to Annah. She taught me to take joy in performing the tasks that bring light and sparkle to my home.

~from House Warmings: For those who make a house a home by Patricia Houck Sprinkle

Work without joy shall be as nothing.
Resolve to be happy, and your joy and you shall form
an invincible host against difficulties.
~Helen Keller

Establish the work of my hands! amen

The real deal?

2005-08-15T13:54:00.000-05:00

How real am I? I wonder at transparency....at honesty....at approachability.
I know I am real and honest. I also know that I am self-sensoring and secretive - not in a dishonest way - just in an introverted sort of way. I keep most of myself unto myself. Sometimes I think I also with-hold from myself because I don't want to deal with that part of me. I think it is a struggle to keep "introverted" from morphing into "self-centered"......
Hence the daily struggles:

~ to empty all myself of self that God may fill me with Himself instead...
~ to be transparent before the Lord, that I may be made clean - as His mercies are new each day...

If thou could'st empty all thyself of self,
Like to a shell dishabited,
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,
And say,"This is not dead,"
And fill thee with Himself instead.
But thou art all repleat with very thou,
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes He says,"This is enow
Unto itself - 'twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for me."
~Sir Thomas Browne

12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
13 Keep me from deliberate sins!
Don't let them control me.
Then I will be free from guilt,
and innocent of great sin.
14 May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:12-14

When you read my mind, what does it say? What do you find there?
When my thoughts unwind, reflections of you, I pray they will be there....When you read my mind......
~Joel Weldon, musician