Today's Gifts

• my kids eating fruit
• life skills
• Christer choosing a Kindle
• more GoodReads friends
• emotionally expressive children <3
• clean laundry
• ants not roaches
• ebooks
• air conditioning
• my Best Friend

My 1000 Gifts

(the beginning - in no particular order)

• sticky kissings
• library books
• granting wishes
• walking through the breezes
• dappled shade
• paid bills
• real food
• new acquaintance
• daisies
• my Sweetheart <3

I was introduced to this idea today (by a new aquaintance!) and found out it is from a book! I have ordered the book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp  after reading the first chapter online and am looking forward to devouring it. :)

Different/Improving

It would seem that having the opportunity to improve over the years there would be some sort of visible progress. I'm not sure there is. Sounds cryptic, but I don't really want to be specific online. It feels sufficient to say there has been at least minute progress in some areas and obvious regression in others. I suppose I am in a state of evaluation - the progress and regress will be named and dealt with. The biggest problems will be what has neither progressed nor regressed but remained static. :(

One of the things I know I want to work on is writing. More. With regularity. I'm not concerned with anyone reading it at this point. (even this blog for that matter) I want to get words out. Unstop the flow. Direct the flood. Make it useful. Organize thoughts and feelings. Make sense of them.

Another thing I want to work on is Grace. The kind deserving a capitol letter. Appreciating that which I live under and extending it to others in a second by second, thought by thought, action by action sort of way.

The toughest one I think will be boundaries - allowing myself to have them with others and reinforcing them. This is trickier because I need to figure out how this works intertwined with Grace.

----------

Of a curious note: I wonder if I am ever going to conquer certain weaknesses?

ug.

long, long ago...in a place far, far away... I should have gone to nursing school. period.

[tantrum]
I can't keep anything nice. Everything gets broken or smashed. What's the freakin' point? I'm so upset I want to smash everything else so I only have to be upset once instead of over and over and over. Burn it all with a blow torch - it's going to crumble any way. Build a bonfire. Get it over with. I want to scream, stomp my feet, and beat someone till I run out of steam.
It's the broken window thing. The Pavlovian dog of households. If something is out of place, other people feel free to leave other things out of place. If something doesn't appear expensive, they feel free to abuse it and generally ruin it. (Esp. if people are not taught to respect the property of other people.) *biting back a long string of foul verbiage, bitter, and vile* [\tantrum]
I need something physically hard to do. NOW.

Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and
common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys.
- Lamartine, Alphonse De

Today I put the brace back on my left knee. It's been a long time since I needed serious support....I've needed some off and on, but not long term continuous. I'm hoping this is one of those short term issues.
I hate being dependent on this brace. Thankfully, I still know all the required strengthening and stretching exercises.
*musing over the other things I'm dependent on in my life...positive...negative*
*deep sigh*

Just piddlin'. Waiting.....waiting....waiting.....
Bought a scarf. Multi-purpose. Warmth, compfy-ness, something to rub mindlessly. Waiting.