tired

I'm tired. Sure, I'm tired physically after a long day, but I mean I am emotionally, maybe even spiritually, weary. *sigh* I had an epiphany last nite on the way home from a friend's house and I've been mulling it over all day. I visited a new forum, Women @ Home, and was reading a scripture verse that someone shared from their daily reading....and my response sort of mirrored what I've been thinking. Here's the verse:

For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
I peter 3:10

And my response:

Good food for thought today.
My tongue is my weakness. Sooo hard to control it. Though I would suppose that if I were persistant in renewing my mind daily in Christ as I am supposed to my tongue wouldn't have so much to say that I could be ashamed of.

(emphasis added for this post)

Here's the verse in mini-context, so to speak:

Romans 12:1-3 (New International Version)
Romans 12
Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

Really, here is the key - my epiphany. I am weary. Yet for some reason, as I thought about how much I want to retreat from things - yesterday I kept thinking about how nice a mountain lodge full of books would be - this verse came to my mind. It was a gentle reminder that what I am doing with my children is a worthy ministry. It is a ministry that God has equipped me for and is more than willing to sustain me thru daily...thru the renewing of my mind in Christ Jesus. In my service I am offering myself as a living sacrifice.
Yes, retreats are good. Times of silent contemplation and reflection are wonderful. However, at this present time it is not possible. Rarely do I get to go to the bathroom alone or without "thru the door" conversations! Good news abounds in that God is with me whether I ascend a mountain in solitude or not. I can be filled with his Spirit without a Holy Pilgrimage. Christ lives in me. I do have small moments to capture thru out my day.
So...I'm concluding with the thought that I need to make sure that I am purposfully seeking to be renewed - that spiritual fulfillment. I need to dig deeper, maybe even dig longer, in the Word. Not just a superficial ascessment while reading - taking the grains off the top of the wheat stalk. I need to consume the entire column of grain...chew it...and chew it some more. *laugh* I guess I could be like a cow.
Well, I think my thought process is muddying and I see the evidence above of break down so I'll stop now. Maybe..just maybe I'll add more tomorrow after I've had sleep and can make coherent sentences and spell things correctly. No promises. *laugh*
(I may also include some major editing to this if I come back and read it and it doesn't make any sense! *laugh* *yawn*)